Autism Disclosure: Is Revealing Your Disorder Helpful or Hurtful?

Should you tell people you have autism?

Deciding whether or not to provide an autism disclosure to others is not an easy one to answer. While the question of whether to tell people you have autism is straightforward, the answer isn’t, because it really depends on the circumstances of your situation. 

And I’m betting most of you who are either autistic or are family or friends of someone who is, already know that autism disclosure it can change how you are viewed by others.

Before even attempting to determine the right course of action, I think it’s important to assess your overall health and abilities as well as any support needs, and whether autism “presents” itself in a mild or significant manner.

 Then, once you have done a self-assessment, or discussed it with the one with autism if you are the family member or friend, the next step is to review the particular circumstances.

I have chosen to both disclose and to not disclose for those very reasons at various times in my life. And I am comfortable with the choices I have made for myself.

  Here’s my thinking on this topic.

My Rationale On Autism Disclosure

In my experiences, I think it is only important to disclose having autism if there is a legitimate reason that is to your advantage. After all, if there isn’t a need to, you don’t have to exactly go and shout if from the rooftops unless you feel you want to.

It may be good to disclose you are on the spectrum if will help you with attaining a goal or participating in an activity, or if it is important to gain accommodations based on individual capabilities.

Since every single person with autism is different, there is no way for anyone to determine that decision except for the individual with autism and support group (family, friends, therapist, etc.)

I have chosen to give an autism disclosure when applying for a job on several occasions, but not always. I have indicated my difference when applying for a potential position with a program that was specifically hiring individuals with autism.

In that case, it was a no-brainer for me because I wanted them to know I was qualified and able to do the work.

I have also told a few of the teachers I have had at certain times, although I generally do not disclose. 

For example, I told my speech teacher in college because I had to do a verbal presentation and I wanted her to know that my speech patterns may be a little “flat” because I tend not to use inflection and because I can sometimes be difficult to understand (usually when I talk fast, like when I am nervous).

Read more about top 10 autism challenges explored.

Employers Can Benefit From Knowing For A Fair Interview Assessment

There are other times when it could be advisable and help with awareness. If you have difficulty with the interview process for a job, then maybe you should explain to the interviewer that you have autism so they can be more understanding.

A lot of employers and companies are creating programs about hiring people with autism or other differences because they are now aware that many of the candidates are especially talented.

Even now, however, individuals with differences or on the spectrum tend to have challenges with the interview process, so may not have the chance to really demonstrate and “sell” their skills.

But the addition of these programs, at companies like IBM, Dell, Goldman Sachs, and Citi, for example, these companies are changing that. Human Resources personnel help coach hiring employees about skills beyond the interview, so they can get the best overall candidate for a job.

 I appreciate these programs, which seem to be growing in number, to provide individuals from all walks of life, a chance. If you are autistic and willing to provide an autism disclosure (which is typically needed for entry into the program), I hope you will take advantage of the opportunity. 

Work and autism can bring with it numerous challenges, and one that I have experienced previously is feeling left out or marginalized. 

Read more about feeling left out and 12 ways to conquer ostracism when you have autism.

Friends Can Benefit from an Autism Disclosure

Choosing when to tell friends is another personal choice consideration. I think you should probably tell your true friends that you have autism, so they are aware if certain behaviors may seem odd to them.

By telling them you are on the spectrum, you are also trusting them to accept you as you are so that you can put those differences aside and just be friends.

 I enjoy the show, Big Bang Theory, and I enjoy Sheldon Cooper’s character.  Although he has a lot of quirky behaviors, his friends love and accept him as he is. The result is that they are all super close and have each other’s backs, so to speak.  

I also like how in the show it took him a while to really understand that some of his behaviors and beliefs that he finds so typical are actually extreme, but in talking through it, the group of friends truly enjoy one another and all their adventures.

Friends should tell each other what is going on in their lives, so it’s good to be honest with them. There is nothing wrong with that and it is part of the acceptance most any person craves.

When you really start thinking about it, most individuals (and truthfully, everyone, if you really start thinking about it) has particular quirks, challenges, strengths, and differences that make us all who we are. Friendships should be based on the ability to cross differences and become closer to one another. True friends will help individuals with behavioral, mental, and physical differences navigate life more successfully. 

Read more about breaking down barriers that challenge autism and friendships.

Telling Romantic Interests With an Autism Disclosure Can Strengthen Relationship

You should also be honest with your romantic partner because they need to know these things if you want to make a relationship work.

In many cases, a partner didn’t really know for sure he/she has autism until getting diagnosed as a teen or adult, and many times it may come as a relief.

By being open with someone you care about, strengthened communication and connection can be the ultimate reward.

I’ve written about whether being part of a couple is something that makes people happier. My take on life is that everyone (neurotypical or neurodiverse) should focus on choosing to be happy and focus on self-awareness and self-love. Once you are happy with yourself, then you can possibly be happier with bringing a romantic partner into your life.

But when you are on the spectrum, relationships can be messy and challenging.  Deciding on autism disclosure is a personal choice, of course, but it’s also important to determine what you want and need for satisfaction with life. I’ve said knowing what makes you happy is a superpower we all have, and isn’t one we should ever give away.

Read more about choosing happy over love and joy coupling.

In The End, Do What You Think Is Best For You

Telling people you have autism can be an incredibly personal decision.  Some individuals may decide to provide an autism disclosure to everybody they know because they don’t want to keep it a secret.

Others, however, may decide not to tell anyone except for those individuals they feel should know and those they truly trust because they don’t think it’s anyone’s business.

I think about whether to say something or not, and I’ll be honest that it is often a difficult decision. I would never just tell random people or acquaintances because it won’t really help anyone, and could subject me to comments or reactions I don’t need or want.

But I do think more and more people are becoming more transparent about challenges they may have, whether it is anxiety, depression, or autism.

It is always up to you to decide, and make sure to think it through and make sure you control the story.  It is you that you are talking about, after all.

Read more about popular ways to manage and master autistic social awkwardness.

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