My Autism Social Story: What Does Autism Feel Like?

My autism social story is as unique as every single precious person.When you hear the word autism, it’s likely in the context of a generalization, a joke, a meme, or a dry, clinical, medical explanation, mostly from an outsiders point of view. None of these references paint an accurate or thorough picture of what autism is and what it feel like to have it.

While everyone’s experiences are unique, I want to change that by providing a peek inside autism, what the experience is like, how it affects my life, and the challenges and beauty it can bring—from my personal perspective.

It’s a complex and fascinating journey, and the only way to understand autism completely to have it yourself. People with autism can have a hard time explaining what the experience of having autism is like because they have never been neurotypical, so they have nothing to compare it to. But with compassion and understanding, autistic and neurotypical people can paint a better picture for each other’s’ reality so they can understand and relate better.

My Personal Autism Social Story: Answering What Autism ‘Feels’ Like?

In terms of my personal experience with autism, I’d say it mainly manifests as difficulty with connecting to people, and sometimes as difficulty in even desiring to connect with people.

You could see this a lot in my school day; I felt I was never on same the same wavelength with my classmates most of the time, and combined with a lot of shyness, it felt pretty lonely. This isn’t to say I had no friends growing up, I certainly did; I wasn’t completely isolated.

But I was felt a bit like an outsider looking in, as there was always this disconnect with my buddies. I didn’t know what to make of it at the time, as I’d never even heard the word autism before, but my experiences make more sense in hindsight.

I suppose everyone can relate to feelings about why or how things could have been different for them when looking back at their childhood, regardless if they’re autistic or neurotypical. I have enjoyed true connections with people and would call them true friends, not superficial friends kids and adults make because they just so happen to go to the same school or workplace.

I’m talking about a true friendship you can feel in your soul. A lot of people never experience that regardless if they’re neurotypical or neurodivergent, so I can be grateful for that. A friend who is easy to talk to and you can effortlessly have fun with is a beautiful thing, so you have to enjoy and appreciate it while you can because you never know how long it’s going to last.

I don’t think my childhood friend was autistic or neurodivergent; he just seemed like a perfectly cool, chill guy. I think he appreciated our friendship too, but I haven’t seen him in years because life took us in different directions. I hope he’s happy wherever he is.

Understanding Autism: An Insider’s View

For decades, our understanding of autism has been shaped primarily by external observation. Clinical assessments, behavioral checklists, and third-person descriptions have dominated both professional discourse and public perception. Researchers have documented what autism “looks like” from the outside, cataloging observable behaviors and measuring deviations from neurotypical norms. But this approach, while valuable in certain contexts, has created an incomplete picture that often misses the depth and complexity of autistic experience.

The shift toward understanding autism “from the inside” represents more than just a change in perspective—it’s a fundamental reimagining of how we conceptualize autism itself. Rather than viewing autism solely through the lens of behavioral symptoms or diagnostic criteria, this approach prioritizes the lived experiences, internal processing, and first-person accounts of autistic individuals.

This insider perspective reveals layers of experience that remain invisible to external observation, challenging long-held assumptions and opening new pathways for understanding and support.

The Limitations of External Observation

Traditional approaches to autism research and understanding have relied heavily on observable, measurable behaviors. The diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5, for instance, focus on externally visible patterns such as repetitive behaviors, communication differences, and social interaction challenges. While these criteria serve important purposes in clinical settings, they capture only the surface manifestations of a much deeper neurological difference.

Consider the experience of sensory processing differences, one of the most commonly reported aspects of autism from first-person accounts. From an external perspective, a researcher might observe an autistic person covering their ears during a fire alarm and document this as “auditory sensitivity” or “sensory avoidance behavior.”

But this clinical description fails to capture the internal reality that many autistic individuals describe: the physical pain that certain sounds can cause, the way unexpected loud noises can trigger a full-body stress response, or how the anticipation of sound can create anxiety that persists long after the noise has stopped.

The external view documents the behavior but misses the phenomenological experience—the actual felt sense of what it’s like to navigate a world where every day sounds can be overwhelming or painful. This gap between observation and experience has significant implications for how autism is understood, researched, and supported.

Neurological Processing Differences

From the inside, autism is fundamentally about different patterns of neurological processing rather than simply behavioral quirks or social deficits. Autistic individuals often describe their brains as processing information differently—sometimes more intensely, sometimes in unexpected sequences, often with an attention to detail that can be both gift and challenge.

How to answer "What does autism feel like?" Truth is, there is no one right, or wrong answer. Everyone's journey is different!Many autistic people report experiencing heightened pattern recognition abilities what explaining, “What does autism feel like?” They might notice connections, inconsistencies, or details that others miss entirely. This isn’t simply about having “good attention to detail” in the way that phrase is typically understood. Instead, it reflects a neurological tendency to process information in ways that naturally highlight patterns, anomalies, and systematic relationships.

This different processing style can manifest in various ways. Some autistic individuals describe being able to hold complex systems in their minds, understanding intricate relationships between different components. Others report a natural tendency toward systematic thinking, approaching problems through methodical analysis rather than intuitive leaps.

These processing differences aren’t inherently better or worse than neurotypical patterns—they’re simply different ways of engaging with information and the world.

The challenge arises when these different processing styles encounter environments and expectations designed for neurotypical brains. What might be a natural and efficient way of thinking for an autistic person can appear unusual, rigid, or inappropriate in contexts that privilege neurotypical approaches to problem-solving and information processing.

The Complexity of Sensory Experience

Sensory processing differences represent one of the most significant aspects of autism when viewed from the inside. While external observation might categorize these as “sensory sensitivities” or “stimming behaviors,” the internal experience is far more nuanced and varied than these clinical terms suggest.

Many autistic individuals describe living in a world where sensory input isn’t automatically filtered or regulated in the background. Instead of having sensory information processed unconsciously, allowing attention to focus on relevant stimuli, they might experience all sensory input with equal intensity. The hum of fluorescent lights, the texture of clothing, background conversations, visual patterns, and temperature changes might all compete for attention simultaneously.

This isn’t simply about being “sensitive” to certain stimuli. Some autistic people describe sensory experiences that are underwhelming rather than overwhelming, leading them to seek additional sensory input through movement, touch, or sound. Others experience fluctuating sensory processing, where the same stimulus might be pleasant one day and overwhelming the next, depending on their overall nervous system state.

The sensory world of autism also includes experiences that can be profoundly positive and meaningful. Many autistic individuals describe deep pleasure in certain textures, sounds, or visual patterns. They might find genuine joy and regulation in repetitive sensory experiences that others might view as unusual or excessive. These positive sensory experiences aren’t just coping mechanisms—they’re often integral to wellbeing and self-regulation.

What Does Autism Feel Like In Terms of Sensory Experiences

I have had my challenges with sensory issues. I’m doing a lot better with them now, but in full disclosure about my autism social story, I had a lot of trouble with loud, persistent noises as a child. I’ve talked before about how my 6th grade math class was filled with classmates that were obnoxiously loud and engaged in endless talking and shrieking. It became so much so that the teacher had to scream at the entire class to shut up on a daily basis.

It got to a point before halfway through the school year that the teacher just gave up and stopped his daily screaming ritual. As a result, I was condemned to not hear a single word during lessons because my classmates would always loudly talk over him. Believe or not, but I’ve actually passed that class, a fact that will forever astound me. However, the damage was done in terms of my ability to cope in those situations.

I also struggled going to concerts as a kid and it not hard to predict why, as loud, constant music that goes on for hours seemed like a relentless explosion on my senses, and to make it worse, the music was often not my cup of tea. I had to use my hands to cover my ears, but of course your arms get tired after a while.

I didn’t often do this, and remember, I wasn’t diagnosed as having Asperger’s syndrome (now all under the autism umbrella) until after my 6th grade year. However, these sensory experiences were a primary reason for my eventual diagnosis. I managed to get through these sensory nightmares, for me personally, sensory overload was more or less just a minor nuisance, but that math class really messed me up.

No child should have to go through that, regardless if they’re autistic, ADHD, or neurotypical. It’s just a fundamentally bad experience for your education, mental health, socialization, and sanity.

Communication Beyond Conventional Expectations

The internal experience of communication for autistic individuals often differs significantly from how their communication is perceived and evaluated by others. Many autistic people report rich internal language and complex thoughts that don’t always translate easily into conventional verbal or written expression.

Some autistic individuals describe experiencing language differently—perhaps thinking in images, patterns, or concepts that don’t have direct verbal equivalents. The process of translating these internal experiences into words can be time-consuming and imprecise, leading to communication that might appear delayed, scripted, or inappropriate to neurotypical observers.

There is no single autism social story, and that's what makes it a unique and often beautiful experience.The phenomenon of scripting—using rehearsed phrases or language patterns borrowed from various sources—illustrates this gap between internal experience and external expression. From the outside, scripting might appear to indicate a lack of original thought or authentic communication.

But many autistic individuals describe scripting as a bridge between their rich internal experiences and the verbal communication expected in social interactions. Scripts can provide structure and reliability in a communication system that might otherwise feel unpredictable and overwhelming.

Processing time represents another crucial aspect of autistic communication that’s often invisible to external observation. Many autistic people report needing additional time to formulate responses, not because they lack understanding or opinions, but because their processing style requires more time to organize complex thoughts into conventional communication formats.

The pressure to respond quickly in social interactions can create additional stress and may result in responses that don’t accurately reflect their internal understanding or perspective.

The biggest communication problem as part of my autism social story is my brain moving too fast for my mouth to keep up. This apparently results in my words getting jumbled together and makes it hard for people to understand what I’m saying.

This is why I often have to deliberately slow myself down to manage my words better, which improves the flow of the conversation. This can make talking feel a bit unnatural, but once I get into a flow state, it creates a beautiful conversation.

Also, I have benefited from creating MyAutismMind.com, and speaking about topics that I have written about three times a week on TikTok and Facebook. Talking about topics that are personal and information that I want to share with others has helped my style of communications, and I believe I speak more freely and plainly as a result. I’d love to hear your view about how I am doing on communications; feel free to reach out at [email protected]

The Phenomenon of Masking

Perhaps no aspect of autism from the inside is more significant or invisible than masking—the practice of consciously suppressing natural autistic behaviors and mimicking neurotypical social patterns. Masking represents one of the most psychologically complex aspects of autistic experience, yet it remains largely unrecognized in clinical settings and popular understanding.

From the inside, masking involves constant self-monitoring and behavioral adjustment. Autistic individuals who mask might spend enormous mental energy observing neurotypical social behavior and attempting to replicate it. This can include controlling natural movement patterns, forcing eye contact, suppressing stimming behaviors, moderating their natural speaking voice and intonation, and carefully monitoring their facial expressions and body language.

The cognitive load of masking is substantial. It requires maintaining conscious control over behaviors that might be automatic for neurotypical individuals while simultaneously trying to engage authentically in social interactions. Many autistic people describe masking as performing a role continuously, never being able to fully relax into their natural behavioral patterns when around others.

The psychological impact of long-term masking can be profound. Many autistic individuals report identity confusion, difficulty understanding their authentic preferences and reactions, and chronic exhaustion from the constant performance.

The development of masking skills, while sometimes helpful for navigating neurotypical environments, can also lead to delayed diagnosis, misunderstanding of support needs, and significant mental health challenges.

I have never gotten into the habit of masking. This may sound unusual for people with autism, but I have always liked and have adamantly been myself because I have never cared enough to be fake. Obvious this can be a bit isolating, but I have never cared because I have always enjoyed being alone, after all being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely.

I hope folks reading about my autism social story don’t take this the wrong way. I would love to have a stronger network of friends. I am luckily surrounded by a loving family and strong network, and I seem to lack the gene where I need to fit in. (Is that bad or is that good?)

Refusal to mask grants you a very special kind of freedom, it can be lonely. However, once you learn you be happy and even thrive being alone, you’ll never want to go back because being true to yourself is the only way.

What Does Autism Feel Like? Emotional Processing and Empathy

The internal emotional world of autistic individuals often contradicts common stereotypes about autism and empathy. Many autistic people describe experiencing emotions intensely, sometimes overwhelmingly so. Rather than lacking empathy, they might experience hyper empathy—feeling others’ emotions so strongly that it becomes difficult to regulate their own emotional responses.

Trying to be just like someone else, and hiding the real "you" is a form of masking.The challenge isn’t typically a lack of emotional awareness or concern for others, but rather differences in how emotions are processed and expressed. Some autistic individuals report difficulty identifying and labeling their emotions quickly enough to meet social expectations for emotional responsiveness. Others describe feeling emotions physically before recognizing them cognitively, leading to behavioral responses that might be misinterpreted by observers.

The expression of empathy and emotional support might also look different for autistic individuals. Rather than offering conventional verbal comfort or physical affection, an autistic person might express care through practical help, sharing relevant information, or offering solutions. These different expressions of empathy are often not recognized or valued in neurotypical social contexts, leading to misunderstandings about autistic people’s capacity for connection and care.

I’ve never been called a robot nor have I been told I lack emotion or empathy, but it’s very possible that it crossed some people’s minds. Maybe I’m a bit more expressive than the average person with autism, but probably not as much as a neurotypical person.

I want to note and emphasize because it important that people with autism do, in fact, have emotions, and actually they could possess emotions even more powerful than many neurotypical people. It is just that they have trouble expressing them. Just because they don’t show emotions doesn’t mean they don’t exist because I assure you, they very much do.

Special Interests as Passion and Expertise

What clinical language describes as “restricted interests” or “special interests” takes on entirely different meaning when viewed from an autistic perspective. Many autistic individuals describe these interests not as limitations but as sources of profound joy, expertise, and meaning.

From the inside, these interests often represent areas where autistic processing differences become advantages rather than challenges. The ability to focus intensely, notice subtle patterns, and pursue systematic understanding can lead to deep expertise and innovative insights. Many autistic people describe their special interests as providing regulation, comfort, and a sense of competence in a world that often feels unpredictable and demanding.

The intensity and persistence of these interests reflect genuine passion rather than compulsion. While the external focus might appear narrow to neurotypical observers, the internal experience often involves rich, complex understanding and genuine enthusiasm. These interests might also serve important regulatory functions, providing predictable positive experiences and opportunities for mastery and control.

When I get really into a subject, whether it be a story, cool new tech, martial art or whatever it may be, I always get super into it. I do all the research I can about the subject, I investigate every detail, both big and small so I can master the subject and make it my own.

I’m tremendously grateful for technology such as Google, Chat GPT, and places like libraries because they allow me to do all the research to my heart’s content and more! I like to consider myself a bit of a renaissance man because of all the knowledge I’ve accumulated throughout my lifetime and I pride myself for it.

Identity and Self-Understanding

The journey toward understanding autism from the inside often involves complex processes of identity development and self-recognition. Many autistic individuals describe periods of feeling different or misunderstood without having language or frameworks to explain their experiences. The discovery of autism as an explanation for lifelong patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving can be both relieving and challenging.

Late diagnosis, particularly common among women and individuals from marginalized communities, can involve significant revision of self-understanding. Adults who learn they are autistic might need to reframe decades of experiences, relationships, and challenges through a new lens. This process can involve grief for misunderstood struggles, relief at finally having explanations, and the complex work of developing authentic self-expression after years of masking.

The development of autistic identity also occurs within broader social contexts that often pathologize or misunderstand autism. Many autistic individuals must navigate between self-acceptance and external pressure to change or hide their natural patterns. This navigation requires considerable psychological resources and can significantly impact mental health and wellbeing.

Identity is a complex thing because it is a process of both self-discovery and self-creation. This requires a lot of introspection and I’ve certainly done a lot of this in my lifetime and because of that, I think I have a pretty good idea of who I am. I’d say I’m the kind of person who holds autonomy and freedom as core values as well as deeply loving creativity.

I can be a challenge to express and channel these values in a way I see fit especially with economic, political, pandemic and a myriad of other issues getting in the way but I’m determined to live my life the way I want. I hope you feel the same way and you don’t let mental conditions or any other outside influences get in the way.

The Importance of Autistic Self-Advocacy

Understanding autism from the inside necessarily involves listening to and centering autistic voices. The autistic self-advocacy movement has been instrumental in challenging deficit-based models of autism and promoting more nuanced understanding of autistic experience. Self-advocates have highlighted the diversity within the autistic community, the importance of presuming competence, and the need for supports that enhance rather than suppress autistic ways of being.

Autistic researchers, writers, and advocates have contributed crucial insights that complement and sometimes challenge traditional clinical perspectives. Their work has highlighted the importance of acceptance and accommodation rather than cure or normalization, the value of autistic perspectives and contributions, and the need for research and support approaches that prioritize autistic wellbeing rather than neurotypical comfort.

Implications for Support and Understanding

Viewing autism from the inside has significant implications for how support, education, and intervention approaches are developed and implemented. Rather than focusing primarily on changing autistic behavior to appear more neurotypical, this perspective suggests the importance of creating environments and systems that accommodate different processing styles and communication patterns.

This might involve designing educational approaches that leverage autistic strengths rather than focusing solely on addressing perceived deficits. It could mean developing workplace accommodations that allow autistic employees to contribute their unique perspectives and skills effectively. It might require rethinking social expectations and communication norms to be more inclusive of different neurological styles.

The inside perspective also emphasizes the importance of supporting autistic people in developing self-understanding and self-advocacy skills rather than simply teaching compliance with neurotypical expectations. This approach recognizes that autistic individuals are the experts on their own experiences and should be central to decisions about their support and accommodation needs.

Moving Beyond Stereotypes

Understanding autism from the inside and being able to answer, What does autism feel like?, reveals the inadequacy of common stereotypes and generalizations about autistic people. The diversity of autistic experience—across different ages, genders, cultures, and individual variations—becomes apparent when first-person accounts are prioritized over clinical generalizations.

Don't let definitions or others define who you are. You're simply you, with or without, autism!This insider perspective challenges assumptions about autistic capabilities, interests, and potential contributions. It reveals the complex interplay between neurological differences, environmental factors, and individual personality that shapes each autistic person’s unique experience.

Most importantly, it highlights the humanity, complexity, and richness of autistic experience that has always existed but has often been overlooked or misunderstood.

The movement toward understanding autism from the inside represents not just a shift in research methodology or clinical practice, but a fundamental recognition of autistic people as full human beings whose experiences, perspectives, and voices deserve to be heard, valued, and centered in conversations about autism.

This shift has the potential to transform not only how we understand autism, but how we think about neurodiversity, human difference, and the creation of truly inclusive communities.

Autism is a complex, multifaceted and deeply personal mental condition. It can be hard to explain to neurotypical people or even to other people with autism what your particular flavor of autism is like because it can affect people in so many, countless different ways, that’s what makes it fascinating and beautiful in a strange way. It’s a mystery and an anomaly and each autistic person has to strive to figure it out on their own so they know how to best handle the condition, with some help from their friends, family, and kind strangers on the internet, of course.

I had to learn how to deal with my own flavor of autism, so I could live my best life and I’m proud of the work and success I’ve done. A lot of it I had to learn on my own because my doctors were never sure enough to officially diagnose me until that 6th grade math class, but I had picked up some good tips and tricks from the internet.

I still got a long way to go, but I’m constantly making progress and I hope you are too. I also hope we can support each other on our autistic journeys, whether you have the diagnosis officially or you have a loved one who does. We should all do our best to ease each other’s burdens, so we can live our best lives and maybe create a better world in the process.

Autism in Adults:  Living, Learning, and Overcoming Challenges for a Fulfilled Life

Autism in adults requires additional support and coping skills to achieve independence in today’s world.

Learn more about ways adults can live fulfilled lives and the challenges they face.

Picture of Connor McClure

Connor McClure

I'm a young adult navigating life with autism. By sharing my experiences and views, I hope to create a better awareness, understanding, and compassion for those on the spectrum. Let's connect!
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