Say No to Urgency: Managing Tasks for Ultimate Calm

If you feel restless with managing tasks until completed, you have task urgency. Everyone has a to-do list. Whether it’s working on the job or household chores, managing tasks effectively is a skill everyone needs to learn properly. 

For some people with autism, this can be a monumental challenge because they can become restless and develop a sense of urgency until they finish their tasks, even if it’s something small and they can do it later.

It will be impossible to them to relax and enjoy themselves until it is done.

This can create many problems in their social and professional lives, which is why it is important and vital to learn ways for managing tasks effectively. Because if you don’t, your life will become a chaotic and disorganized mess that will be impossible to make sense of. But there are ways to bring order to the chaos.

For many autistic individuals, managing task urgency feels like trying to catch water with your hands – just when you think you’ve got a grip on it, it seems to slip through your fingers.

This challenge affects daily life in profound ways, but understanding it better can help us develop effective strategies to work with our natural tendencies rather than against them.

Task urgency is our perception of how quickly something needs to be done. It’s an internal alarm system that helps us prioritize activities and allocate time and energy effectively.

Why Urgency May Feel Different to Autistics

For neurotypical individuals, this system often works automatically, creating a graduated sense of pressure that increases as deadlines approach or consequences become more imminent. They might feel mild pressure about a project due next week, moderate concern about tomorrow’s dentist appointment, and immediate urgency about responding to an emergency.

However, autistics often experience urgency differently. Instead of a smooth gradient of increasing pressure, many of us experience urgency in a more binary way – tasks feel either completely urgent or not urgent at all. This can make it challenging to prioritize effectively and can lead to either paralysis or overwhelming stress. Time blindness – difficulty sensing the passage of time or estimating how long tasks will take – often compounds these challenges.

The complexity increases when we consider how interest levels affect our ability to initiate and complete tasks. While neurotypical individuals can often push through uninteresting tasks simply because they’re urgent, many autistic people experience a more complex relationship between interest and action.

When deeply interested in a task, we might enter a state of hyperfocus that overrides other urgency signals. Conversely, we might struggle significantly with initiating tasks that don’t capture our interest, even when we fully understand their importance.

This interest-urgency paradox can create a challenging dynamic where urgent but uninteresting tasks pile up while enjoyable but less pressing activities consume our time and energy. This isn’t a matter of choice or willpower – it’s a fundamental difference in how our brains process motivation and priority. Understanding this can help reduce self-blame and focus instead on finding effective solutions.

Managing Task Urgency: When We Feel We Have to Accomplish Something NOW

So what can we actually do about it? The key lies in creating external systems that work with our natural patterns of thinking and processing. Visual systems often prove particularly effective for autistic individuals.

Consider setting up a large wall calendar where you can see your whole month at once, using color-coding to make different types of tasks instantly recognizable. Red might represent urgent deadlines, yellow for important but not immediate tasks, and green for routine activities. This creates a visual representation of urgency that’s easier to process than abstract concepts.

Managing tasks without feeling urgency is a learned behavior for many. Technology can be a powerful ally when chosen thoughtfully. Look for timer apps that show the passage of time visually, calendar apps with multiple reminder settings, and task management tools that let you customize priority levels. The goal isn’t to try every productivity app available, but to find tools that supplement your natural strengths rather than adding another layer of complexity to manage.

Building strong routines can help bypass the need to constantly evaluate urgency. Start by identifying your most productive times of day through careful observation. Are you sharper in the morning? Reserve that time for tasks that require more focus. Do you struggle with transitions? Build in buffer time between activities.

Create “urgency templates” for different types of tasks – for example, deciding that bills must always be paid three days before their due date, or that emails will be checked at specific times rather than continuously throughout the day.

Body doubling – having another person present either physically or virtually – can significantly impact task initiation and completion for many autistic individuals. This presence doesn’t require active help; sometimes just knowing someone else is there can provide the structure needed to stay focused. Virtual body doubling has become increasingly accessible through online co-working sessions, video calls with friends, or dedicated platforms.

Sensory needs plays a crucial role in managing tasks and the urgency often associated with completing them effectively. Create a sensory-friendly environment by adjusting lighting, using noise-canceling headphones, maintaining comfortable temperature levels, and having fidget tools readily available. Regular sensory breaks can prevent overwhelm and help maintain focus over longer periods.

Communication about your needs is essential, particularly in professional or educational settings. Be direct about how you process urgency and what support would be helpful. Request explicit deadlines rather than vague timeframes, ask for written instructions, and explain your need for transition time between tasks. Many organizations are increasingly understanding of neurodivergent needs and willing to provide appropriate accommodations.

RELATED: When Time Flies So Fast – Is Time Blindness Real?

Managing Tasks Into Your Daily Life

Implementing these strategies in daily life often requires creative adaptation and persistence.

Here’s how this might look in practice: Consider creating a “task initiation station” – a dedicated space where everything you need for common tasks is readily available. This might include a bill-paying station with stamps, envelopes, and relevant account information, or a morning routine station with everything needed to start your day. The key is reducing friction points that might prevent you from starting tasks.

Processing the passage of time can help with feeling an urgency factor. Breaking down tasks into smaller components becomes especially crucial when dealing with urgency challenges. Instead of writing “clean kitchen” on your to-do list, break it down into specific, concrete actions: “clear counters,” “load dishwasher,” “wipe surfaces,” “sweep floor.” This granular approach serves two purposes – it makes the task less overwhelming and provides clear starting points for when executive function is challenging.

Time estimation is another area where many autistic individuals struggle. One effective strategy is to keep a passage of time diary for a week or two, noting how long routine tasks actually take versus how long you thought they would take. This data can help you build more realistic schedules and reduce the stress of constant time pressure. You might discover that tasks you thought took 15 minutes actually require 30, allowing you to adjust your planning accordingly.

The role of interest in task completion can’t be overstated. While we can’t make every task inherently interesting, we can often find ways to incorporate elements that engage us.

If you’re particularly drawn to patterns or numbers, try turning task completion into a data collection opportunity. Track your progress, create graphs, or develop scoring systems. This can add an element of engagement to otherwise uninteresting tasks.

Social support can be invaluable, but it needs to be the right kind of support. Consider creating an “urgency buddy” system with someone who understands your challenges.

This person isn’t there to nag or judge but to provide gentle accountability and perspective. They might help you reality-check your urgency assessment or offer encouragement when tasks feel overwhelming. The key is finding someone who understands that different doesn’t mean deficient.

Professional environments present unique challenges in managing task urgency. Many autistic individuals find success with what’s called the “external deadline strategy.” This involves setting personal deadlines well before actual due dates, creating a buffer for unexpected challenges or executive function difficulties. For example, if a report is due Friday, you might set your personal deadline for Wednesday, giving yourself breathing room for potential obstacles.

Recovery strategies are just as important as task management strategies. The energy required to navigate a world designed for neurotypical processing patterns can be substantial.

Develop a “recovery toolkit” – activities, spaces, or objects that help you reset when feeling overwhelmed by urgency demands. This might include stim toys, comfort objects, specific music, or calming activities. The key is recognizing that recovery time isn’t lazy or unproductive – it’s essential maintenance for your neural system.

RELATED: Overactive Nervous System on Overdrive? It’s Time to Reset

Consider Urgency Bundling As a Technique for Managing Tasks

The concept of “urgency bundling” can be particularly effective. This involves pairing urgent but challenging tasks with activities or environments that support your sensory needs. For example, you might tackle email responses while using a weighted blanket, or process paperwork while listening to familiar music that helps maintain focus.

The goal is creating conditions that make it easier for your brain to engage with urgent tasks.

Remember that success looks different for everyone. Some days, success might mean completing all planned tasks smoothly. Other days, it might mean recognizing when you’re becoming overwhelmed and implementing your coping strategies effectively. Both are equally valid forms of progress.

It's important to temper the feeling of urgency when managing tasks. The journey to better urgency management is ongoing, and it’s okay to adjust your strategies as needs change. What works during low-stress periods might need modification during more challenging times. The key is maintaining flexibility while building on what you know works for you.

As our understanding of neurodivergent experiences continues to grow, more resources and tools become available. Stay connected with autistic communities, whether online or in person, to share strategies and learn from others’ experiences. While every autistic person’s experience is unique, there’s often wisdom to be found in shared experiences and solutions.

Ultimately, managing task urgency as an autistic individual isn’t about forcing yourself to conform to neurotypical expectations. It’s about understanding your unique processing style and building systems that support rather than fight against it. With patience, self-compassion, and the right strategies, you can develop an approach to task urgency that works for you, allowing you to meet your responsibilities while honoring your neurodivergent nature.

Remember that this journey is as much about self-discovery as it is about managing tasks. Each challenge overcome and strategy developed helps build a better understanding of how your mind works best. This knowledge is invaluable not just for managing urgency, but for advocating for your needs and creating a life that works with, rather than against, your natural tendencies.

Implementing these strategies is itself a process that requires patience and self-compassion. Start with one or two approaches that seem most manageable, and gradually build from there. Keep a simple record of what works and what doesn’t, noticing patterns in your effectiveness at different times of day or with different types of tasks.

The goal isn’t to perfectly match neurotypical patterns of managing tasks – it’s about finding ways to meet your responsibilities while honoring your authentic way of processing and responding to the world.

Progress isn’t linear. There will be days when everything flows smoothly and days when the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. That’s okay. Each step forward in understanding and managing your relationship with task urgency is valuable.

By approaching task urgency with self-understanding and creativity, autistic individuals can develop systems that allow them to meet their responsibilities while maintaining their wellbeing. It’s a journey of discovery and adaptation, but one that can lead to more effective and less stressful ways of managing life’s many demands.

After all, having a different relationship with task urgency isn’t a flaw – it’s simply a different way of experiencing and processing the world, and with the right strategies and support, it’s entirely possible to navigate it successfully.

RELATED: Diagnosis Roadblocks – Why An Adult Autism Test Can Be A Challenge

Autism in Adults:  Living, Learning, and Overcoming Challenges for a Fulfilled Life

Autism in adults requires additional support and coping skills to achieve independence in today’s world. Learn more about ways adults can live fulfilled lives and the challenges they face.

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Connor McClure

I'm a young adult navigating life with autism. By sharing my experiences and views, I hope to create a better awareness, understanding, and compassion for those on the spectrum. Let's connect!
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