Stop Stressing Out! Strategies That Put You In Control

It’s no secret that autism can be a stressful condition to live with and if you don’t find a way to manage this stress properly, it could lead to mental health issues and physical duration as well.

This is true for people with autism, ADHD, and neurotypicals. Stressing out lead to a toxic lifestyle and severe anxiety if you’re not careful. I have experience to prove this fact, and I’m sure you do too.

When I was in 6^th grade in middle school I had a math class that was the noisiest, most sensory overloading, worst experience of my life. It was filled with dozens of students who would never stop talking and laughing, so I could never hear the teacher do his job. He himself had to yell at the classroom multiple times every single day to get them to be quiet. This was an everyday routine for half the school year until he got sick of it an gave up. So, I just had to suffer in silence because of it.

Also, it wasn’t just an autistic thing; neurotypicals were suffering as well as every other student of the neurodiversity spectrum! Simply put, he couldn’t control his classroom.

It was a very disheartening experience and because of this I couldn’t really learn much math. The teacher kept yelling at the classroom to be quiet, which led to me always stressing out going to the class. Believe it or not, I actually passed the final exam for this class. I don’t even know how. Even to this day, I’m still shocked!

I’m telling you all this to illustrate just how life can be such a stressful struggle for people with autism. High-stress situations can feel overwhelming for anyone, but as an autistic person, you may experience them with particular intensity. Your nervous system might become flooded with sensory information, your thoughts may race or freeze entirely, and social demands can feel impossible to navigate. The struggle is real!

The good news is that, as challenging as it is, high stress situations can be managed. It isn’t about “fixing” yourself or trying to appear neurotypical. It’s about understanding how your mind and body respond to stress, then developing strategies that honor your autistic experience while helping you navigate challenging situations successfully.

LEARN MORE: Overwhelmed? How to Cope When In Stress Overdrive

Understanding Your Personal Stress Signals

Your body and mind give you signals when stress is building, and learning to recognize these early warning signs is your first line of defense. Physical signals often appear first—tension in your shoulders, rapid heartbeat, or that familiar feeling of energy building up inside you. Maybe your hands start to flap more frequently, you begin rocking, or you feel an urgent need to pace.

Cognitive changes are equally important to recognize. You might find it harder to process what people are saying, feel like your thoughts are moving too fast or too slowly, or experience that frustrating sensation where words won’t come out the way you want them to. Some people describe feeling like their brain is “full” or “static-y.”

Emotionally, you might feel increasingly irritable, anxious, or like you want to escape. You may become more sensitive to criticism or feel like crying over things that normally wouldn’t bother you. These responses aren’t weaknesses—they’re information your nervous system is giving you about what it needs.

Take time to identify your personal stress signals during calm moments, and consider sharing this information with trusted people in your life so they can help you recognize when you’re becoming overwhelmed.

READ: How to Overcome the Dreaded Autism Anxiety Shutdown

Personal Breathing and Grounding Techniques

When stress hits, your breathing often becomes shallow and rapid, which actually increases anxiety. Learning specific breathing techniques gives you a powerful tool for calming your nervous system anywhere, anytime.

The 4-7-8 breathing technique: Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts, then exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 counts. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for relaxation responses. If holding your breath feels uncomfortable, try a simpler 4-4-6 pattern instead.

Box breathing: Visualize drawing a box as you breathe. Inhale for 4 counts (drawing one side), hold for 4 counts (second side), exhale for 4 counts (third side), hold for 4 counts (fourth side). This technique is especially helpful if you’re a visual person.

Grounding through your senses: When your mind feels scattered, try the 5-4-3-2-1 method: identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This redirects your attention away from internal stress toward concrete, manageable sensory information.

For some people, repetitive movements work better than breathing exercises. You might press your palms together firmly, squeeze and release your fists, or do gentle neck rolls. The key is finding what works for your body and practicing these techniques when you’re calm so they’re available when you need them.

LEARN MORE: 8 Stress Busters to Navigate

Creating Your Sensory Toolkit to Keep From Stressing Out

Sensory overwhelm often underlies stressful situations for autistic people. Building a personal sensory toolkit means you’re prepared to manage your environment and create the conditions you need to think clearly.

Noise-canceling headphones or earbuds can be life-changing investments. Quality noise-canceling headphones can reduce background noise by 15-20 decibels, making overwhelming environments much more manageable. If you’re concerned about looking unprofessional, many earbuds now offer excellent noise reduction in a discrete package.

Fidget and stim toys aren’t childish—they’re tools that help regulate your nervous system. A small, pocket-sized fidget toy can provide the sensory input you need to stay focused and calm. Consider different textures and types: smooth worry stones for tactile comfort, silent fidget cubes for meetings, or even a simple hair tie around your wrist for discrete stimming.

Comfort items can include anything that helps you feel grounded and safe. This might be a soft scarf that provides gentle pressure, a smooth stone in your pocket, or photos on your phone that bring you joy. Don’t underestimate the power of familiar scents—carrying a small container of your favorite essential oil can be remarkably soothing.

Light management tools are often overlooked but can make a huge difference. Sunglasses aren’t just for outdoors—they can help manage fluorescent lighting in offices, schools, or medical facilities. Blue light filtering glasses can reduce eye strain and headaches in bright environments.

Building Your Safe Spaces to Avoid Meltdowns

Everyone needs retreat spaces, but for autistic people, having reliable access to calm environments can mean the difference between managing stress and experiencing complete overwhelm.

Creating a home sanctuary: Designate one space in your home as your retreat area. This might be your bedroom, a corner of the living room, or even a closet you can make comfortable. Fill this space with things that calm your nervous system: soft textures, dim lighting, your favorite books or music, and anything else that helps you feel safe and regulated.

Workplace and school sanctuaries: Identify quiet spaces at work or school where you can retreat when feeling overwhelmed. This might be an empty conference room, a quiet corner of the library, your car, or even a bathroom stall if necessary. Having a predetermined plan for where to go removes the additional stress of trying to find refuge while already overwhelmed.

Portable peace: Since you can’t always control your environment, create portable versions of your safe space. This might be a specific playlist that calms you, a small photo album on your phone, a particular scent, or even a meditation app with guided relaxation exercises.

READ: Recovering Successfully from an Autism Meltdown

Advocating for Workplace Accommodations

Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, you have the right to reasonable accommodations that enable you to perform your job effectively. You don’t have to disclose your autism diagnosis unless you need accommodations. According to the law, you only have to let your employer know that you need an adjustment or change at work for a reason related to a medical condition.

Common reasonable accommodations include flexible scheduling, written instructions instead of verbal directions, regular check-ins with supervisors, access to quiet workspaces, advance notice of schedule changes, modified break schedules, adjusted lighting or seating, and permission to use fidget tools.

When requesting accommodations, be specific about what challenges you’re facing and what changes would help. For example: “I have difficulty processing verbal instructions in noisy environments. Having written summaries of meeting discussions would help me ensure I’m completing tasks accurately.”

Keep documentation of all accommodation requests and responses. If your initial request is denied, ask for clarification and whether alternative solutions might work.

Navigating School and College Accommodations

Educational accommodations work differently depending on whether you’re in K-12 school or college, but your right to equal access to education is protected under federal law.

K-12 school accommodations: Students with autism may qualify for accommodations under Section 504 or may need an Individualized Education Program. Effective accommodations might include extended time on tests, access to quiet spaces, written instructions, preferential seating, modified homework assignments, sensory breaks, and alternative communication methods.

College accommodations: At the college level, you’ll work with your school’s disability services office. College accommodations often include extended time for exams, alternative testing environments, note-taking assistance, priority registration, flexibility with attendance policies, and modified housing arrangements.

Learning to advocate for yourself is crucial for long-term success. Practice explaining your needs clearly and professionally, and prepare specific examples of how accommodations help you demonstrate your knowledge rather than giving you an unfair advantage.

READ: Choosing College Can Be The Right Choice

Emotional Regulation Strategies

Managing emotions during high-stress situations requires both immediate coping strategies and long-term regulation skills.

Immediate emotional regulation: When you feel emotions intensifying, try the STOP technique: Stop what you’re doing, Take a breath, Observe what you’re feeling in your body and mind, and Proceed with intention rather than reaction. This creates a pause between the trigger and your response.

Progressive muscle relaxation can help when you’re feeling physically tense. Start with your toes and work your way up your body, tensing each muscle group for 5 seconds, then releasing and noticing the contrast between tension and relaxation.

Cognitive strategies: Challenge catastrophic thinking by asking yourself: “What’s the worst that could realistically happen? What’s the best outcome? What’s most likely to actually occur?” Use positive self-talk that acknowledges your feelings while maintaining hope: “This is really hard right now, and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’ve gotten through difficult situations before, and I have strategies that can help me now.”

Emotional processing: Keep an emotion journal where you track what situations trigger strong emotions, what physical sensations you notice, and which coping strategies help. Consider working with a therapist who understands autism to develop personalized emotional regulation strategies.

Navigating Specific High-Stress Situations

Traffic Stops and Police Interactions

Being pulled over creates immediate sensory assault from flashing lights and sirens. The goal is to have a safe interaction during a traffic stop, and preparation is key.

Before you’re pulled over: Traffic Stop Toolkits are available that include printed tips and information about autism for officers. Practice deep breathing exercises daily so they’re automatic when stress hits. Keep a prepared card in your glove compartment explaining your autism. Some organizations offer practice sessions where participants utilize their own vehicle while being pulled over in a closed parking lot.

During the interaction: Pull over slowly and keep your hands visible on the steering wheel. Use breathing techniques to stay calm despite sensory overwhelm. Verbally let the officer know that you have autism as your first words: “Officer, I want you to know I have autism, which affects how I communicate.” Avoid making sudden movements to reach for documents. Obtain permission before reaching into pockets or glove compartments.

Job Interviews

Autistic job-seekers can experience stress and anxiety before or during an interview, but preparation and regulation tools can help you showcase your abilities effectively.

Pre-interview preparation: Research the company thoroughly and practice breathing exercises in interview-like settings. Under the ADA, job applicants never have to disclose a disability until an accommodation is needed. Pack your sensory toolkit: noise-canceling earbuds for waiting rooms, discrete fidget tools, and comfort items.

During the interview: Arrive early enough to acclimate but not so early that waiting increases anxiety. Use earbuds and breathing techniques in waiting areas. It’s professional to say, “That’s an interesting question, let me think about that for a moment” if you need processing time. Use grounding techniques like feeling your feet on the floor.

Medical Appointments

Medical environments assault multiple senses with bright lights, antiseptic smells, and beeping equipment, plus the stress of health concerns.

Preparation strategies: Call ahead to ask about wait times and request first appointments when possible. Pack your sensory toolkit and write down all symptoms, questions, and medications beforehand. Include information about your autism and communication needs.

During appointments: Use sunglasses and headphones in waiting areas as needed. Immediately inform staff about your autism: “I have autism, which means I may need extra time to process questions and I prefer written instructions.” Use your phone to take notes and don’t hesitate to ask for clarification.

Workplace Crisis Situations

It’s always best to do everything possible at work to avoid meltdowns by minimizing triggers like routine changes, sensory overload, or communication difficulties.

Immediate responses: Excuse yourself briefly: “I need to take a quick break to process this information.” Use breathing techniques or walk to your predetermined quiet space. Engage fidget tools and use grounding techniques like pressing your feet firmly into the floor.

Communication during crisis: Use clear, direct language: “I work best when I have written instructions for new tasks” or “I need a few minutes to process this change before we proceed.” Don’t apologize for needing accommodations—frame them as ways to ensure your best work.

Academic Stress

School environments present unique challenges with social demands, academic pressure, and sensory overwhelm.

Test-taking strategies: Use accommodations for extended time or quiet testing environments without guilt. Arrive with your sensory toolkit and use breathing techniques before starting. Take breaks if allowed and remind yourself that you’ve prepared.

Managing social pressures: Have exit strategies for lunch periods and social events. Identify quiet retreat spaces and practice boundary-setting phrases: “I need to work on this project in a quieter space” or “I’m going to take a break and will join you in a few minutes.”

Social Events and Family Gatherings

Social situations combine unpredictable interactions, sensory overwhelm, and pressure to mask autistic traits.

Event preparation: Plan arrival and departure times, giving yourself permission to leave early. Identify quiet retreat spaces and pack your sensory toolkit. Prepare conversation topics in advance and practice polite ways to end conversations when overwhelmed.

During events: Take regular breaks in quiet spaces and use regulation tools throughout the event. Implement grounding techniques immediately when feeling overwhelmed, focusing on physical sensations like the temperature of a drink or texture of clothing.

Building Long-Term Resilience and Stop Stressing Out

Developing resilience means building sustainable practices that support your well-being while working with your autistic brain, not against it.

Daily regulation practices: Establish consistent routines including morning sensory activities, regular physical exercise you enjoy, dedicated time for special interests, and consistent sleep schedules. These create daily deposits into your stress-management account.

Support network development: Cultivate relationships with people who understand and accept your autism. This includes family members, friends, and potentially other autistic individuals. Online communities can provide invaluable support and practical advice from people who share similar experiences.

Professional support: Consider working with therapists who have experience with autism and view it as a neurological difference rather than a disorder. Cognitive-behavioral therapy adapted for autism can be particularly helpful for managing anxiety and developing personalized coping strategies.

Strength recognition: Identify and celebrate your autistic strengths. Many autistic individuals are detail-oriented, honest, loyal, and capable of intense focus. Your different perspective can lead to creative solutions and innovative thinking. Make a practice of regularly recognizing these strengths in yourself.

READ MORE: Transform Your Relationships by Learning to Set Boundaries

Remember, managing stress as an autistic person isn’t about trying to appear neurotypical or suppressing your natural responses. It’s about understanding how your unique brain works and developing strategies that help you thrive while staying true to yourself. With the right tools and support, you can successfully navigate even the most challenging situations while maintaining your well-being and authenticity.

Misconceptions About Autism that Lead to Stigmas and Stereotypes

Learn more about other stigmas and stereotypes that autistics face:

• Why Labeling People Can Lead to Stereotyping and Discrimination
• Autism Media Stereotypes: We’re Not All Geniuses, Savants, or Lonely
• Beyond Stereotypes: How Rain Man Revolutionized the Perception of Autism
• Absurd Plot About Autism and Evolution and Why It’s Harmful
• Moving Past the Tired Conspiracy Theory of Vaccines and Autism
• 3 Reasons Why Pathologizing Crushes Autism Acceptance and Inclusion
• The Hidden Hurdles: Challenging Autism Stigmas in Today’s Politics
• History of Autism: Revealing Shocking Mysteries from the Past
• Knocking Down the Stigma to Autism Obsession