Autism Speak: How to Talk Respectfully to Individuals on Spectrum

Communicating with one another can be tricky. Most people have played the game where individuals whisper a sentence with particular details from one person to another, with the last one then announcing what they heard.  In most cases, the words and meaning changed somewhere along the line.

That’s the way it can be with autism speak, where individuals with autism spectrum disorder may have particular challenges in carrying out conversations and participating in social situations without becoming misunderstood or even teased, ostracized, or even bullied. When individuals fail to understand different perspectives relating to individuals with autism, the result can be an overwhelming.

I’ve recently written an article about making insensitive comments and what not to say to someone with autism. Now, I’d like to share some key practices on how to talk to someone with autism that honors their humanity. Here are some top tips.

10 Tips for Navigating Autism Speak With Individuals on the Spectrum

1. Understand Different Perspectives

   Open your mind beyond preconceived ideas of what autistic traits must look like in real people. Let go of checklists or stereotypes. Accept life on the spectrum contains vast variability – not rigid absolutes. Embrace learning about newly encountered communication styles, relational tendencies or sensory responses without judgment.
   
   

2. Demonstrate Extra Patience With Autism Speak

   Recognize processing delays and adjust your pace accordingly without visible irritation. Repeat information calmly. Provide extra time for responses before assuming disinterest. Extend plenty grace for social gaffes when determining how to talk to autistic person.
   
   

3. Avoid Overwhelming Environments

   Pay attention to possible triggers like noisy crowds, startling sounds, dizzying visual stimuli, strong scents or unexpected touches that may overwhelm those susceptible to sensory overload. Help guide them to quieter spaces so they can regulate using preferred self-soothing techniques. Offer noise-cancelling headsets.
   
   

4. Give One Step Instructions

   Break bigger requests or complex information into manageable chunks instead of long strings of input. Check frequently for understanding before presenting the next component. Writing bullet point lists also aids comprehension and recall.
   
   

5. Provide Visual Supports

   Enhance spoken words with autism speak guidance using simple images, symbols, diagrams and written language representing key messages for those who process written text or graphics more easily. Word webs, social stories with stick figures, lists, calendars and daily schedules can serve useful especially for those with communication barriers.
   
   

6. Offer Specific Options

   Reduce anxiety of open choices by providing 2-3 concrete options to select from. This helps those who freeze or struggle when confronted with vague instructions full of nebulous expectations. Clarify exactly what each option contains at a basic level.
   
   

7. Accommodate Sensory Needs

   Offer ways the individual (child or adult) can subtly stim by chewing gum, squeezing stress balls or toys, wearing noise cancelling earmuffs, sitting on cushions or discs. Allow extra movement breaks. Provide separate low stimulation spaces they can access freely when feeling overwhelmed – even nonverbal children will use the area appropriately.
   
   It’s also important to note that practically everyone stims; it is just that individuals with ASD often stim in more pronounced ways.  Read more about stimming here.
   
   

8. Clarify Ambiguous Language  to Help Understand Different Perspectives

   Don’t rely heavily on hints, body language, sarcasm, rhetorical questions, euphemisms or other implied speech with autism speak because they are prone to multiple interpretations. Back up nonverbals with precise verbal explanations for clarity. Check understanding frequently too in conversation.
   
   

9. Respect Requests for Alone Time

   Understand that everyone regardless of neurotype benefits from solitude to recharge at times. Balance social expectations with down periods to prevent overload. Negotiate reasonable accommodations around social demands rather than force rigid compliance.
   
   

10. Appreciate Direct Communication

    Value those comfortable expressing themselves bluntly without confusing social niceties. Recognize frankness often comes with best intent rather than rudeness. Monitor your own instinct to judge tone.

How to Talk to Someone With Autism: Understanding Different Perspectives

Simply avoiding insensitive language or shifting mindsets represents only first steps. Lasting change towards true inclusion requires concrete action.

In a more accepting world, everyone would learn adapting environments and activities to fully involve those with sensory, communication, motor or other developmental differences.

The following practical tips help make autistic individuals feel more confident, capable and connected in social spaces.

• Provide Predictability with Autism Speak

  Give advance warning before transitions or schedule/location changes to reduce anxiety. Post visual daily schedules with words, pictures or objects denoting times, places and activities. Verbally prepare them for any deviations well beforehand too.

• Manage Sensory Input

  Take note of and control external stimuli like lighting, noises, scents or textures causing distress. Offer noise-cancelling headphones, sunglasses or hats, weighted accessories, fidget items and access to quiet rooms for self-regulation breaks preventing meltdowns.
  
  

• Highlight Relevant Details

  Guide focus to most pertinent parts of instructions, events or tasks without overwhelming with complex backstories, verbal embellishments or abstract asides prone to derail attention. Think bullet points over lengthy paragraphs.
  
  

• Demonstrate Visually For Better Understanding How to Talk to Someone with Autism

  Show video modeling of appropriate behaviors or skill sequences where possible so they can learn socially expected reactions through repeated viewings. Also demonstrate sequential steps of less intuitive tasks.
  
  

• Provide Alternative Communication to Help Overcome Challenges

  Have picture symbols, communication boards with words or other augmentative devices on hand. Tech speech apps allow typing too. Even conversant individuals appreciate these supports amid anxiety.
  
  

• Add Physical Structure to Help Understand Different Perspectives

  Clearly define boundaries in open spaces like room corners, circle times on a colorful carpet square, workstations separated by shelves, etc. to reduce distractibility. Having an organized, predictable environment comforts.
  
  

• Allow Movement  To Help Connect and Understand Different Perspectives

  Sitting still proves challenging for some children and adults, despite social pressure to comply with rigid expectations. Provide alternative seating supportive of movement like bouncy balls, wiggle seats, standing desks or resistance bands on chair legs.
  
  These techniques allow fuller participation by not requiring autistic individuals to fit narrow definitions of acceptable conduct. Implementing respectful support strategies empowers them to demonstrate abilities that too often go overlooked.

Celebrating Gifts of Neurodiversity  and Autism Speak

Because prevailing treatment models concentrate heavily on “fixing deficits,” we lose sight of unique virtues arising from non-typical perceptions and wiring. Though autism shapes challenges, it also gives stand-out strengths deserving praise.

Many autistics think divergently with remarkable creativity. Their intensity cultivates impressive focus once engaged on preferred topics. Sincere directness and absence of hidden agenda builds trust. Pattern recognition facilitates talent for coding or systems optimization. Being less swayed by peer pressure often equates to laudable non-conformity.

Meanwhile sensory integration differences also generate positive outlier abilities among some on the spectrum, including:

• Extraordinary musical, mathematical or mechanical aptitudes
• Keen observational skills and memory for fine details
• Hypersensitivity detecting patterns, sequences or minute environmental changes
• Enhanced discrimination of sensory subtleties and subtler stimulus differences
• Heightened sensory pleasure in things like textures, smells, sounds or colors

You can best support those with atypical minds by spotlighting talents and less-common advantages they contribute rather than dwell on difficulties seen as unfortunate aberrations.

Our communities gain character, diversity and new perspectives through ensuring those wired differently also help shape collective values, priorities, policies and processes.

However, keep in mind that unique virtues doesn’t mean that the individual with autism is a savant.

Read more about why autism can unveil the rare Savant syndrome connection.

Lead with Presume Competence  When Navigating How to Talk to Someone with Autism

Whether you’re the caregiver, teacher or stranger interacting with an autistic child or adult, adopting a “presume competence” mindset dramatically affects communication patterns and relationship equity. Unlike the tragedy narrative pervading media depictions of autism, this more empowering posture recognizes abilities coexisting with challenges. 

Presume competence means approaching social encounters with core belief that:

• Every person has a rich inner life of thoughts, feelings and intrinsic human value regardless of outward behavior or verbal skill
• Unique qualities arise from alternate neural wiring worthy of appreciation rather than reflex correction
• Nonverbal modes of communication have purpose and meaning if we care enough to decode them
• With the right supports and modified teaching methods, ability to display knowledge deepens dramatically even for those initially viewed severely intellectually limited

Such foundational principles guide us interaction by interaction to discover remarkable gifts every autistic person has awaiting chances to shine. But unlocking potential requires patience, compassion and wisdom seeking diverse expressions of competence rather than quick dismissal.

A societal shift embracing neurodiversity promises healthier communities for all – with expanded creativity, alternative problem solving and space for more varied living. By better including those who interpret and navigate the world uniquely as autistic individuals, we open doors for their special contributions while learning new ways of perceiving ourselves.

Celebrate Neurodiversity  Throughout the Year

Promote the notion that autism and other neurodevelopmental conditions contribute meaningfully to the larger mosaic of thriving human communities. Counter messages that diminish those with atypical minds. Catch and correct language that portrays ASD as deficiency. 

While you should celebrate and respect neurodiversity each and every day, there are two special months throughout the year that plan special events, workshops, fund raisers, and other awareness opportunities.

Here’s more about these awareness months:

• How to Celebrate March Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month
• How to Advocate for Acceptance During April’s Month of Autism Awareness

Autism Speak: Please Talk With Us and Not Around Us

I hope these tips help you feel better prepared for polite, caring conversations with those with ASD while avoiding common pitfalls. The key remains first seeking to listen and understand before reacting.

Make space for neurodiverse people to teach you new ways of seeing and being in the world. Let go of narrow assumptions as you expand definitions of healthy social engagement.

With some thoughtful adaptations to communication style and environment, you can build connections that mutually enrich both your life and those with ASD – as well as enhance communities where all express the dignity of difference.

Above all, please remember that autism or not, most of us simply want to make positive connections with others and live their best life.

Additional Challenges Individuals with Autism Face

Learn more about other issues that autistics face:

• Behaving Badly: Is It Ever Okay to Use Autism as an Excuse?
• Autism and Organization: The Secret to Finding Calm in the Chaos
• New Research Reveals Autism Mental Health Linked to These Disorders
• Is Autism a Disability? Surprising Reasons for the Debate
• Social Justice Issues: Why Disability Rights Matter for Autistics
• Autism and Holidays:  Why Special Occasions Can Be Challenging
• 6 Fascinating Facts About Autism You Probably Didn’t Know
• 8 Popular Ways to Manage and Master Autistic Social Awkwardness
• Autism and Poor Hygiene:  The Smelly Truth to Overcome
• Anxiety and Autism: 5 Powerful Strategies to Conquer Emotions
• Autism Clothing for Sensitive Skin Can Enhance Quality of Life