Feeling Left Out: 12 Ways to Conquer the Dreaded Ostracism

Feeling left out and ostracism can be minimized with autism understanding.Living with autism can present unique challenges, and one significant issue faced by individuals on the autism spectrum is ostracism—feeling left out or marginalized by society. 

The mental health impact of feeling left out on individuals with autism can be significant. However, there are ways to address and overcome these barriers.

Here are ideas for helping to promote inclusion and acceptance for those on the spectrum.

12 Ways to Conquer Ostracism and Feeling Left Out

  1. Recognize the Impact of Ostracism

    Ostracism can significantly affect individuals with autism, leading to feeling left out and resulting isolation, loneliness, and low self-esteem. The inherent social difficulties that people with autism may face can be compounded by the exclusionary attitudes of others.

    Experiencing exclusion and feeling left out can reinforce negative self-perceptions and hinder social development. It is essential to acknowledge and address this issue to create a more inclusive environment.

    Research has shown that individuals with autism often face rejection and lack social connections, resulting in adverse psychological effects. The pain of feeling left out can be as severe as experiencing physical pain. Recognizing and empathizing with these experiences can motivate us to take action and foster a more inclusive society.

  2. Build a Supportive Network

    Having a support system plays a vital role in combating ostracism. Individuals with autism can benefit from connecting with support groups, both in-person and online, to minimize feeling left out. These communities offer understanding, empathy, and guidance, fostering a sense of belonging and validation.

    Support groups provide a safe space for individuals with autism to share their experiences, seek advice, and form connections with others who can relate to their challenges. These networks allow individuals to develop a sense of community, reducing feelings of isolation and ostracism.

    Online communities, in particular, provide a convenient platform for individuals to connect with others, regardless of geographical limitations.

  3. Raise Awareness and Education

    Educating others about autism is essential in reducing misconceptions and breaking down barriers. When society understands the unique characteristics and challenges associated with autism, it can actively promote inclusion and lessen feeling left out.

    Individuals on the autism spectrum can actively participate in awareness campaigns, sharing their experiences and educating their communities. Their stories can challenge stereotypes, dispel myths, and foster empathy and understanding. By engaging in open conversations, individuals with autism can become advocates for themselves and others, helping to create a more inclusive society.

    Schools, workplaces, and community organizations can also play a crucial role in fostering awareness and education. By implementing autism-friendly policies and promoting understanding among staff and peers, they can create an environment that supports the needs of individuals with autism.

  4. Promote Understanding and Acceptance

    Encouraging open conversations about autism can promote understanding and acceptance. Society often fears what it does not understand, leading to social exclusion and stigmatization. By openly discussing autism and its characteristics, we can challenge misconceptions and foster empathy.

    Individuals with autism can engage in dialogue, sharing their challenges, strengths, and unique perspectives. This dialogue helps others gain insight into the experiences of individuals with autism, encouraging acceptance and inclusion. Building relationships based on understanding can break down barriers and foster a culture that appreciates neurodiversity.

  5. Advocate and Utilize Self-Expression

    Empowering individuals with autism to advocate for themselves is crucial. By sharing their stories and speaking up about their needs, they can challenge societal barriers and advocate for inclusive policies. Through various mediums like art, writing, or public speaking, self-expression becomes a powerful tool for generating awareness and understanding.

    Advocacy can take various forms, such as joining disability rights organizations, participating in public events, or collaborating with policymakers to shape inclusive legislation. By actively engaging in advocacy, individuals with autism can contribute to creating a more inclusive society that recognizes their rights and supports their needs.

  6. Develop Social Skills

    Developing better social skills can help avoid feeling left out.Improving social skills can enhance interactions and reduce ostracism. Individuals with autism can seek support from therapists, counselors, or social skills groups to develop effective communication strategies, empathy, and social cues. These skills enable better connections with peers, fostering inclusion, and reducing isolation, and feeling left out.

    Social skills training can provide individuals with autism with the tools to navigate social situations more comfortably. By learning to understand and interpret social cues, they can communicate their thoughts and feelings effectively. These skills can also help others understand and engage with individuals with autism more empathetically.

  7. Celebrate Strengths and Accomplishments

    Shifting the focus from deficits to strengths is vital for promoting inclusion. Individuals with autism possess unique talents and abilities that deserve recognition and celebration. By highlighting their accomplishments, we foster a society that values diversity and appreciates the contributions of all individuals.

    Encouraging the development of strengths and interests can boost self-esteem and provide opportunities for individuals with autism to excel. Schools, workplaces, and community organizations can create platforms to showcase the talents and achievements of individuals with autism. Celebrating their accomplishments not only bolsters their confidence but also helps others recognize the valuable contributions they can make to society.

  8. Create Inclusive Spaces

    To combat ostracism, it is crucial to create inclusive spaces in various settings, such as schools, workplaces, and public places. These environments should be designed to accommodate the diverse needs of individuals with autism, fostering a sense of belonging and reducing the potential for exclusion.

    In schools, teachers and administrators can implement inclusive education practices that cater to the unique learning styles and communication needs of students with autism. Providing individualized support and reasonable accommodations can create an inclusive learning environment where all students can thrive.

    Similarly, workplaces can promote inclusivity by implementing policies that address the specific challenges faced by individuals with autism. This can involve providing workplace accommodations, fostering understanding among colleagues, and creating opportunities for individuals with autism to contribute and succeed in their chosen careers.

    Public places, such as community centers, recreational facilities, and cultural venues, can also contribute to inclusivity. By considering sensory sensitivities, providing accessible information, and offering inclusive programs and activities, these spaces can become more welcoming and inclusive for individuals with autism and their families.

  9. Encourage Peer Education

    Peer education is a powerful tool for fostering inclusivity and reducing ostracism. Encouraging neurotypical individuals to learn about autism and understand the experiences of their peers with autism can lead to greater empathy, acceptance, and meaningful relationships.

    Schools and community organizations can implement programs that facilitate peer education, where individuals with autism have the opportunity to share their experiences with their neurotypical peers. This promotes a culture of understanding, empathy, and support, reducing the likelihood of ostracism and fostering positive interactions.

  10. Emphasize Person-Centered Approaches

    Taking a person-centered approach is essential in addressing the specific needs and aspirations of individuals with autism. By recognizing and respecting their preferences, strengths, and challenges, we can create environments that foster inclusion and empower individuals to reach their full potential.

    This approach involves individuals with autism in decision-making processes that affect their lives. It acknowledges their unique perspectives and ensures that their voices are heard. Person-centered planning can be applied in education, healthcare, and other domains to ensure that support and services are tailored to the individual’s needs and goals.

  11. Foster Sensory-Friendly Environments

    Sensory sensitivities are common among individuals with autism, and overwhelming sensory experiences can lead to feelings of discomfort and isolation. Feeling left out and ostracism can be minimized with support and understanding. Creating sensory-friendly environments can significantly improve the inclusion and well-being of individuals with autism.

    This can involve providing quiet spaces, reducing visual and auditory stimuli, and offering sensory tools and resources to help individuals regulate their sensory experiences. 

    Sensory-friendly initiatives can be implemented in schools, workplaces, public venues, and community events, allowing individuals with autism to participate more comfortably and enjoyably. 

  12. Advocate for Policy Changes

    To address ostracism and create a more inclusive society, it is crucial to advocate for policy changes at local, regional, and national levels. Policies should focus on promoting equal rights, accessibility, and support for individuals with autism.

    Advocacy efforts can involve working with disability rights organizations, engaging with policymakers, and participating in public consultations. By collectively raising awareness of the challenges faced by individuals with autism and advocating for their needs, we can drive systemic change that addresses ostracism and promotes inclusivity.

My Thoughts About Ostracism and Feeling Left Out

I didn’t experience feeling left out or ostracized when I was growing up or so far as an adult due to my having autism (at least as far as I have known or felt), but I know the fear of it because everyone does. It’s a part of human nature that you need to have the group to survive, so it’s only natural to fear being excluded.

At the same time, I am fully aware that others my age are engaging in activities that I feel I should want to be a part of, and those thoughts do make me wonder what I’m missing. I think that’s a natural fear of feeling left out. It’s a paradox in my mind. I know I should want to do certain things but I don’t necessarily truly want to do them, and I’m okay with being alone. But then I will spend time wondering what it would be like if I did. 

In the Stone Age and other times of clans/groups, if you were kicked out for whatever reason you would face certain death. Nowadays,  the societal “group” is a lot bigger especially because of the internet, so it’s harder to get kicked out, as you can always find a place of like-minded people. So if you were ostracized and kicked out of a group for being different it can be an opportunity to find a new group that will love and accept you for who are. I hope my Facebook page is one of those communities! 

Being kind can overcome many feelings of being left out.Addressing feeling left out or ostracism faced by individuals with autism requires ongoing commitment and effort from individuals, communities, and society at large. It’s a very big deal and can make a difference in a person’s overall mental health and well-being. 

Posters on a Reddit thread about ostracism have expressed the seriousness of the situation. @QueenofMadness999 said, “This feeling is no joke. This is the feeling that leads to why, especially many aspie people, take their own lives as they age. Fighting fighting fighting to either fit in or fighting to stay true to oneself and enjoy the fruits of life only to be denied, bullied, looked down on, dismissed, rejected, or misunderstood but you’re still trying to care about others like you’ve never been hurt.” 

By recognizing the impact of ostracism, building supportive networks, raising awareness, promoting understanding and acceptance, advocating for inclusive policies, developing social skills, creating inclusive spaces, and fostering sensory-friendly environments, we can make significant strides toward a more inclusive and accepting world.

Together, we can ensure that individuals with autism are valued, respected, and actively included in all aspects of society. By embracing neurodiversity, we enrich our communities and promote a more compassionate and inclusive future for everyone.

I hope we can work together to nurture inclusion and create a world where the potential of every individual, regardless of their neurodiversity, can flourish.

Additional Challenges Individuals with Autism Face

Learn more about other issues that autistics face:

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Connor McClure

I'm a young adult navigating life with autism. By sharing my experiences and views, I hope to create a better awareness, understanding, and compassion for those on the spectrum. Let's connect!
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