8 Ways to Keep From Feeling Overwhelmed During the Holidays

The holidays can be chaotic. There’s a bunch of people everywhere, social events, a lot of noise, and a potential for unexpected surprises, so it’s normal is you are feeling overwhelmed.

It’s a well-known fact the season can cause the blues due to feeling overwhelmed, and the holidays and stress is a real thing.

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While the holiday season is filled with fun traditions, meaningful moments with loved ones, and opportunities to relax and recharge after a long year, all the events cause major changes in routines. As a result, for many individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), the holidays can also be an intensely stressful, overwhelming time full of unpredictability and overstimulation.

Between the family gatherings, sensory experiences, changes in routines, travel, and social obligations, it’s no wonder many people with ASD dread this time of year.

However, with the right preparations and mindset, most people in general, including those on the spectrum, can handle it. The key is knowing that the holidays and mental health is a challenge you should predict, and then adequately plan for things to get a little wild and unpredictable, and while there is nothing typically too extreme, you may need to branch out of your comfort zone a little to help from feeling overwhelmed.

If your personality and boundaries allow, try to be a little more social with others, such as working on become a more approachable personality, at least for a party or event. Knowing that a special occasion has a starting time and an ending time (meaning it’s not forever) can help you branch out and have a little fun.

By considering being more social and talking with others as much as possible, you may be able to embrace new opportunities and possibly make new friends. Holiday gatherings and parties can provide an opportunity to “put yourself out there” so to speak, so as long as you can avoid feeling overwhelmed and enjoy the holidays and family fun.

Holidays and Mental Health: Ways to Make The Season More Fun

With some adjustments, advanced planning, and compassionate communication, family and friend support can make the winter holiday season much more enjoyable for loved ones with autism.

Here are some practical tips to help limit sources of the holidays and stress and feeling overwhelmed, while still allowing wonderful holiday memories to be made.

8 Holiday Tips to Keep From Feeling Overwhelmed

Prepare with Visual Schedules and Social Stories When Feeling Overwhelmed
For many autistic individuals, uncertainty and last-minute changes provoke intense anxiety and contribute to the holidays and stress emotion.
The abstract idea of “the holidays” can be ambiguous and doesn’t provide helpful information about what concrete experiences to expect. Creating visual schedules and social stories for children with autism and certain autistic adults as well who may experience holidays and stress can provide clarity and predictability.
A few weeks before the holidays, work with your loved one to build a visual schedule that outlines each holiday-related event or activity. Include details like dates, times, locations, attendees, and transportation methods. Use photos, images, and clear language to depict each event.
Keep this posted prominently in your home and refer back to it frequently as dates of activities approaches. Before each event, remind the individual what to expect using the schedule. For some, a countdown can also build anticipation and excitement.
Social stories should be written from your loved one’s perspective using clear, literal language to describe what will happen, step-by-step. Explain what behavior is expected and describe the sensory experiences, activities, emotions they may feel, and how to handle problems. Having concrete information about what to expect can limit confusion and anxiety for those who encounter holidays and mental health challenges before and during events.
RELATED: Autism and Holidays: Why Special Occasions Can Be Challenging
Holidays and Stress: Prioritize Comfort Over Tradition
The holidays often involve heightened sensory experiences – more decorations, music, scents, chatter, food textures, smells, etc. For autistic individuals who are sensitive to sensory input, this can quickly become overwhelming. Recognize that comfort should take priority over tradition, and be flexible in scaling back overwhelming sensory elements.
For gatherings with your extended family, gradually expose your loved one to holiday decorations and music in your home first, before introducing them to a new environment with lots of sensory stimulation all at once. If visiting others’ homes, request that they reduce decorations and noisy music if possible.
Limit the number of unfamiliar guests at one time. At home, stick to familiar decorations. Consider using noise-canceling headphones and sunglasses to manage sound and light sensitivity when out.
Build in plenty of breaks to retreat to a quiet room or go outside without excessive stimuli. Honor requests to remove uncomfortable clothing with rough textures or annoying tags. Prepare alternate food options if certain tastes or textures are upsetting. The point isn’t to eliminate all holiday joy, but thoughtfully accommodate sensory needs to avoid overload.
Remember, the ultimate goal is to enjoy the holidays and family fun.
RELATED: Holiday Survival Guide to Mingling with Family Extended Members
Holidays and Mental Health: Prioritize Calm Routines with Gradual Changes
Most of us find comfort in holiday traditions we’ve repeated for years, but too many irregularities can be unsettling. Be selective in choosing which routines to change, gradually prepare individuals for shifts in the schedule, and keep other routines as consistent as possible.
For example, if dinner is always at 6 p.m., aim to eat holiday meals around the usual time, not at 2 p.m. or midnight, which can be disruptive.
Plan out how you’ll slowly alter routines weeks in advance. If you are parenting a child with autism, perhaps you could slowly move bedtime 15 minutes later each night the week before a late night church service. If adding new traditions, introduce them gradually over years, not all at once.
Limit surprises – surprises may thrill neurotypical folks, but for autistic individuals they provoke anxiety and contribute to the holidays and stress and feeling overwhelmed. Gently re-direct family members who insist on surprise gifts or plans. Share menus and guest lists ahead of time, so your loved one knows what to expect.
For travel, gradually prepare by showing photos, videos and maps of new locations. Pack familiar items like blankets or toys to ease the transition. Try to book accommodations that resemble home, like a hotel suite with multiple rooms rather than an unfamiliar relative’s house.
Take breaks from busy activity schedules to re-charge. Consistency, gradual change over time, and using tools like visual schedules can ease uncertainty and anxiety when routines must be altered.
With some special planning, individuals with autism can truly flourish during the season and enjoy the holidays and family fun.
RELATED: Food for Picky Eaters and 17 Holiday Hacks to Know
Incorporate Special Interests to Help with Holidays and Mental Health
An excellent way to build anticipation and joy and minimize feeling overwhelmed is by incorporating your loved one’s special interests into holiday activities and gifts.
For instance, if someone adores penguins, use penguin decorations, give penguin ornament gifts, watch holiday classics that feature penguins, etc. Special interests provide positive stimulation and opportunities for meaningful connection.
Ask an autistic individual what characters or colors they’d like to use in decorations they help make. Let them pick holiday music that aligns with their interests, to create a calmer sensory environment and promote a better connection between the holidays and mental health.
Make your celebration autism-friendly, not just neurotypical-friendly. Incorporate stims that bring happiness, whether it’s lining up toy trains or watching the same holiday cartoon on repeat. Remember that adults and children alike with autism may need to stim to help them regulate their sensory experience.
Splurge on amazing gifts tailored to their special interest if it brings them joy. The holidays are about celebrating things that make your loved ones happy.
Accommodating special interests allows autistic individuals to feel accepted and understood. With these simple objectives in mind, everyone can enjoy the holidays and family fun.
RELATED: Heartwarming Ways of Respecting Others’ Religious Holidays and Traditions
Teach and Use Coping Strategies When Feeling Overwhelmed
No matter how consistent and planned you try to make things, some change and unpredictability is inevitable that can contribute to holidays and stress. Teaching and practicing effective coping strategies before the holidays can help reduce anxiety in the moment when unwanted stressors occur.
Help your loved one identify specific sensory inputs, social situations, or changes that trigger anxiety for them personally during the holidays. Then, work together to brainstorm specific coping mechanisms that will provide relief in those situations.
For example: Unpredictable noise & crowds: Use noise-canceling headphones and retreat to a quiet room
New social situations: Bring fidget toys and take regular breaks
Traveling: Listen to music and hug a comforting stuffed animal
Messy play dough textures: Wear gloves to avoid direct contact
Unexpected gift: Close eyes, take 10 deep breaths, gently set gift aside
Model using these strategies yourself in response to real-life stressors, not just when feeling overwhelmed. The more you role-play and practice coping strategies together ahead of time, the more instinctive they will become during times of the holidays and stress.
If a parent, praise your loved one and provide positive reinforcement when they successfully use appropriate coping skills.
If you are an adult with autism, ask for input and/or feedback about how you have handled the holidays and stress. Praise and feedback will help you to better enjoy the holidays and family fun.
RELATED: 9 Stress Busters: Conquer Autism and Stress with Proven Strategies
Holidays and Mental Health: Focus on Quality Time Together
Ultimately, the point of holiday gatherings is to spend quality time with loved ones. But too often, the focus shifts to checking items off a holiday to-do list – buying presents, baking cookies, attending concerts, hosting puzzles, posing for photos with Santa, etc.
While those traditional activities are fun for some, don’t force your autistic loved one to participate just because it’s expected.
Instead, ask them what traditions or activities actually bring them joy and meaning. Maybe it’s cuddling under a blanket to watch a favorite movie, doing a puzzle together, or going sledding if they dislike large social gatherings.
Keep celebration low-key and focus on being present together. Don’t cram so many activities into the season that you miss out on the opportunity to simply enjoy each other’s company.
That relational connection is what really matters when it comes to holidays and family fun.
RELATED: Discover the Secret Language of Autism Sibling Love
Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed By Involving Autistic in Planning and Preparation
For many autistic individuals, a sense of control and participation can greatly reduce anxiety. Avoid making unilateral decisions about schedules, activities, decorations, guests, etc., that can impact a person’s experience with the holidays and mental health. Always ask for input from the person at the center of it all.
Involve your loved one in holiday planning and preparation as much as possible. Ask which family members they’d most like to see during the holidays. Develop the schedule together. Task them with making decorations featuring their special interests that meet their sensory needs.
Kids and adults alike can help cook favorite holiday treats. Let everyone pick new ornaments for the tree that represent their interests.
Even simple choices like what holiday movie to watch or when to open gifts can provide a sense of ownership and minimize feeling overwhelmed. Respect requests to skip events that would be too difficult this particular year.
The more involved your loved one has with holiday plans, the less overwhelming it will feel. Collaboration results in celebrations that work for the whole family and minimize holidays and stress and enjoy the holidays and family fun together.
RELATED: Autism Family Support: 5 Ways for A Happy Household
Holidays and Mental Health: Practice Self Care for Caregivers Too
It’s vital for caregivers to also prioritize their own self-care and recharge needs during the busy holiday rush. Model self-care strategies like taking time outs when you feel overwhelmed to help with your own holidays and mental health challenges.
Ask trusted family members or respite caregivers to provide breaks so you don’t burn out. Be honest with loved ones if you need to leave an event early or if you need extra help. Don’t sacrifice your own health and well-being in an effort to create a “perfect” holiday.
Remember to appreciate your own autistic child (young or grown) and all your unique family’s small moments together amidst the hustle and bustle. Share your feelings of holiday stress openly to normalize the reality that many people find this season challenging, not just your child.
With self-compassion, realistic expectations and teamwork you’ll get through the holidays and family fun together without feeling overwhelmed.
RELATED: Self-Awareness Examples for Personal Growth When You Have Autism

Additional Tips Ideas to Overcome Holidays and Mental Health Challenges

Here are some additional tips for making the winter holidays enjoyable for autistic children and adults:

Shop online to avoid hectic stores
Place presents under the tree incrementally instead of all at once
Allow family to send gifts and cards in the mail rather than in-person if it’s too much
Take holiday photos earlier in the day or season when feeling fresh
Introduce new foods and treats very slowly
If traveling, bring familiar bedding, toys and comforting items from home
Before parties, show photos of attendees your loved one with autism hasn’t met
Arrange separate, quieter holiday meals for immediate family if large groups are too much
Consider volunteering to help others in need with friends and family

While every autistic individual has unique needs, with compassion, flexibility and preparation, families can make the winter holiday season a little less chaotic while still allowing wonderful memories to be made.

Don’t lose sight of what truly matters – spending meaningful time with your loved ones.

With Compassion and Flexibility, Holidays Can Still Be Joyful

The most important tip for preventing feeling overwhelmed during the holidays is to respond with compassion, patience and flexibility to your loved one’s needs. Autistic individuals simply experience and process the world differently.

Make adaptations to provide comfort, consistency and accommodation without shame or judgment to foster a more positive approach to the holidays and mental health.

Of course, balancing holiday magic with reduced stress requires family teamwork. Communicate openly with relatives to explain your child’s needs and limitations. Don’t be afraid to leave events early or say no to avoid overload.

Schedule down-time after and take breaks from traditions if needed. With love and mutual understanding, families can find new ways to make treasured memories in a manner that works for everyone and enjoy the holidays and family fun together.

Also, don’t hesitate to seek help if you notice signs of autism and depression.

RELATED: Breaking the Silence of Connection Between Autism and Depression

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Connor McClure

I'm a young adult navigating life with autism. By sharing my experiences and views, I hope to create a better awareness, understanding, and compassion for those on the spectrum. Let's connect!

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