Mastering the Art of Calming Down Autism Meltdowns

Autism meltdowns and tantrums can be emotionally exhausting and stressful experiences for autistic individuals and their caregivers alike. While autism meltdowns are a natural response to overwhelming sensory input or situations, there are ways to minimize their frequency and better cope when they occur.

Autism meltdowns can occur with both children and adults.It’s untrue that only children on the spectrum experience autism tantrums. Adults on the spectrum can have them as well.

That’s because it isn’t something that someone necessarily outgrows with age; however, individuals typically learn skills to cope with the sensory input or situations and how to remove themselves from situations where they fear they might lose control. 

With some preparation and compassion, both autistic individuals and caregivers can develop strategies to manage autism emotions while maintaining positive mental health. This pertains to both autism meltdown adults may have as well as children.

What Triggers Autism Meltdowns?

The first step in managing autism meltdowns is identifying potential triggers. Paying close attention to behavior and surroundings can help determine what situations commonly lead to meltdowns for an individual. Some of the most common triggers leading up to autism tantrums include:

  • Sensory overload – Bright lights, loud sounds, strong smells, and crowded spaces with too much visual stimulation can overtax the nervous system. Those on the spectrum are prone to sensory overload which can quickly lead to meltdowns.
  • Disruption in routine – Many autistic individuals find comfort in established routines and familiar environments. Having to suddenly change plans or deal with unpredictability can heighten anxiety that boils over into meltdowns. Transitions between activities or locations can be especially challenging.
  • Frustration over communication – Difficulty expressing needs verbally can lead to tantrums in children. Non-verbal cues may not be enough for them to get what they want. Adults can also experience meltdowns when unable to articulate emotions or thoughts in social situations.
  • Emotional dysregulation – Some autistic people have trouble identifying and regulating their emotions. A small disappointment may spiral into disproportionate despair. Caregivers should watch for signs of emotional escalation and distress.
  • Exhaustion and hunger – When tired or hungry anyone is prone to crankiness and outbursts. The same applies for those on the spectrum. Ensuring adequate nutrition, hydration and rest can prevent meltdowns stemming from exhaustion.

Of course, triggers are unique for each individual. Paying attention to personal cues and monitoring situations that tend to precede meltdowns can help identify patterns. This enables taking steps to avoid or manage those particular circumstances.

READ MORE: What Are 25 Common Traits of Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Make Sensory Tools Accessible

Carrying items that provide soothing sensory input can help individuals regulate their autism emotions to avoid reaching an autism meltdown point. Having sunglasses, noise-canceling headphones, weighted blankets and other tools readily available provides immediate relief when sensory input becomes overwhelming.

Items like fidget spinners and chewy toys also give children outlets for sensory stimulation that can mitigate restlessness and anxiety. For non-verbal children, picture cards can help express needs when verbal communication fails. Having preferred items easily accessible provides emotional support and a sense of control.

Prepare Calming Spaces to Help Regulate Autism Emotions

It is invaluable to designate areas at home, school or work where autistic individuals can seek refuge during emotionally turbulent times. A calming space should have soft lighting, minimal visual distractions, and plenty of comfort objects. This might include:

  • Beanbag chairs, cushions, hammocks or a bed with weighted blankets
  • Aromatherapy with calming essential oils
  • Noise cancelling headphones and peaceful music selections
  • Fidget toys, stuffed animals, and soft fabrics
  • Familiar books, puzzles or sensory bins

Allowing time for deep pressure, snuggling weighted objects, listening to music or decompressing alone in a calming room can curtail escalation and induce relaxation. Providing an outlet for withdrawal prevents aggression or running away in the midst of autism meltdowns.

Use Soothing Communication to Minimize Autism Tantrums

How caregivers or loved ones verbally interact with a distraught individual with ASD can either escalate or de-escalate autistic meltdowns. Using a gentle, validating tone and simple language provides reassurance. 

Autism meltdowns are more common in children than in adults but any age can react to sensory overload.

Statements like “I understand this is hard for you. I’m here if you need me,” demonstrate empathy. 

Avoiding criticism, scolding or excessive questioning prevents further agitation that contribute to autism meltdowns. For non-verbal individuals, maintain eye contact and use gestures like hugs (if appropriate) or picture cues to convey support during tantrums. Validate the individual’s emotions and communicate that you want to help them.

Sometimes, allowing space for autistic individuals to cry, yell or stim freely – provided they are in a safe environment – enables autism meltdowns to run their course. Show patience rather than alarm and refrain from unnecessary restraint. Autism meltdowns often dissipate more quickly this way, after the built up emotions are released.

Stick to Predictable Routines

Autistic children and adults find comfort in maintaining set routines day-to-day. Following regular schedules for waking, meals, school/work, and bedtimes limits uncertainty. Keep activities in consistent orders whenever possible. Planning any variations to routine well in advance also helps ease the transition.

Posting visual daily or weekly schedules allows autistic individuals see and prepare for what is coming. Highlight any changes or appointments that break routine in a different color. For non-verbal individuals, use picture symbols to display the sequence of activities. Maintaining order and predictability provides stability and a sense of control.

Autism Meltdown Adults: Emotions Benefit With Adequate Self-Care

Stressors like lack of sleep, hunger, thirst or a vitamin deficiency can lower frustration tolerance – sometimes triggering meltdowns unrelated to sensory input or emotions. Make sure autistic children and dependent adults receive sufficient:

  • Sleep during appropriate nighttime hours
  • Nutritious foods and snacks throughout the day
  • Physical activity and time outdoors
  • Hydration with water and other healthy fluids
  • Personal hygiene like bathing and dental care

Getting plenty of down time between activities also helps recharge. Caregivers should build in breaks to prevent exhaustion and limit sensory input. Prioritize self-care basics to avoid autism meltdowns stemming purely from lack of these physical needs.

Take Care of the Caregiver Too When Dealing With Extreme Autism Emotions

Witnessing frequent meltdowns and tantrums often causes high stress and burnout among caretakers of autistic children. To remain patient and compassionate, it is essential that caregivers also prioritize their own mental health needs. Some self-care tips include:

  • Taking short breaks when others can monitor the child
  • Getting counseling or peer support
  • Journaling, meditating or doing yoga for relaxation
  • Going for a walk, listening to music or taking a bath
  • Saying “no” to extra responsibilities sometimes
  • Setting small daily goals not related to caretaking
  • Practicing positive self-talk and acknowledging your limits

Seeking respite care services, help from family or paid sitters can provide longer breaks to recharge. Open communication with schools, therapists and doctors ensures the team understands challenges and can provide adequate support. With self-compassion, caregivers gain resilience to ride the ups and downs with grace.

The Goal of Managing Autism Meltdowns

The reality is that autism meltdowns are likely inevitable for autistic individuals, especially children. However, with preparation interventions, sensory supports and compassion, their occurrence and trauma can be minimized. The primary aim is not to prevent meltdowns entirely, but rather: 

  • Identify triggers unique to the individual
  • Prepare tools/spaces to de-escalate when needed
  • Communicate with empathy and patience
  • Teach coping strategies over time
  • Maintain caregiver mental health 

Implementing small adjustments like weighted blankets, noise-cancelling headphones or pictorial schedules may go a long way toward supporting emotional regulation. Over time, autistic children also gain skills to manage sensory input and express needs more constructively. This will help them as they approach the teen and adult years. With both individual and caregiver support, autism meltdowns become safer to navigate.

Teach Calming Techniques to Help With Autism Meltdowns Adults May Experience

Autism and sensory issues can be managed with mindfulness techniques.While meltdowns cannot always be avoided, individuals can learn techniques to self-soothe, decompress, and de-escalate when emotions intensify. These skills allow greater self-regulation over time. Caregivers can teach autistic children or dependent adults some of the following methods:

  • Deep Breathing – Practice taking slow, deep belly breaths to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system. Counting breaths also helps divert focus from distress. Model breathing techniques and have them imitate you.
  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation – Tense and relax muscle groups one at a time to reduce tension in the body. Teach them to squeeze hands, flex feet, tighten legs etc. and then let go.
  • Visualization – Have them picture a peaceful, comforting scenario like floating on a cloud or lying on the beach. Use vivid sensory details like sounds, colors and textures. Visualization distracts from distress.
  • Distraction – Sing favorite songs, engage in a preferred activity, watch a comfort show or stim with a toy. Any healthy distraction that shifts focus can calm escalating emotions.
  • Positive Self-Talk – Help them practice statements like “I can handle this” or “I will feel better soon.” Processing thoughts constructively improves coping ability over time.
  • Modeling – Demonstrate taking deep breaths, stretching or stimming with a fidget spinner yourself first. Comment on how it makes you feel more relaxed so they can learn by example.

With repetition, such techniques become automatic for managing anxiety and big emotions. They also build confidence in one’s own ability to self-soothe. Support individuals in learning coping methods suitable to their abilities.

Make Time for Fun and Connection to Help with Autism Emotions

Balancing enjoyable activities amidst daily demands is also beneficial for emotional health. Make opportunities each day for autistic children and adults to:

  • Engage in preferred play or hobbies
  • Get outdoors for fresh air and exercise
  • Share laughter and affection with caregivers
  • Enjoy sensory activities like art, music or clay
  • Participate in social stories, games or theatrics
  • Go on community outings to parks or fun attractions

Cultivating joy, creativity and relationships provides an emotional outlet separate from daily stresses.

Pursuing personal interests also builds confidence and independent skills over time. Moments of fun and connection throughout the day can recharge batteries and limit distress.

READ MORE: Top Ways Nature Therapy Transforms Lives of Individuals with Autism

Incorporate Visual Supports

Many autistic individuals process visual information more easily than verbal instructions. Incorporating visual cues into behavior plans provides critical support in heading off meltdowns. Useful tools include:

  • Picture Schedules – Use images to display daily/weekly routines and activities. Review schedules often.
  • Timer – Set a visual timer to show countdowns for transitions or time limits for specific tasks.
  • Social Stories – Create stories with pictures explaining behavior expectations for challenging situations.
  • Choice Boards – Provide images of options to help communicate needs or make simple choices.
  • First-Then Boards – Show a preferred “then” activity as a reward after a “first” non-preferred task is complete.
  • Video Modeling – Record peers modeling appropriate behaviors for social cues like staying calm, asking for help etc.

Visual aids build predictability, set expectations and empower communication for autistic kids and adults. Displaying schedules, timers and cues also provides motivation toward more independent regulation.

Autism meltdowns and tantrums are a serious problem and they are exhausting, we all have heard the stories and most likely seen first-hand about kids of any ability having a meltdown and making a big scene.

In the case of a neurodivergent individual, it’s even more important to help an individual cope with life’s stressors and stimulations.

The journey of navigating autism meltdowns and tantrums is unique for each individual on the spectrum as well as their loved ones. Implementing small changes and supports can help smooth out the road ahead on difficult days.

With time, compassion and consistency, both children and adults gain skills to better manage the challenges they face. It is important that progress be measured in celebrate the small wins as milestones on the path.

Other Common Autistic Behaviors

There are many behaviors associated with having autism. Keep in mind that everyone presents differently, which is why it is called a spectrum disorder. However, there are common autism behaviors. Learn more about them. 

Picture of Connor McClure

Connor McClure

I'm a young adult navigating life with autism. By sharing my experiences and views, I hope to create a better awareness, understanding, and compassion for those on the spectrum. Let's connect!
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