Recovering Successfully from the Aftermath of an Autistic Meltdown
When someone on the autism spectrum exhibits emotional breakdown symptoms, it’s often the result of being pushed beyond their coping abilities due to sensory overload, unmanageable emotions, or unmet needs. The outward manifestations can include intense crying, yelling, aggression, or complete withdrawal and shutdown.
When a child experiences the behavior, there is a certain degree of compassion or understanding by loved ones or even strangers. But when it’s an adult, the common reaction by others is typically one of judgment. That seeming disapproval by others often leads to an autistic’s feeling of embarrassment or humiliation, or even greater feelings of being overwhelmed as an aftermath.
Those intense reactions and overwhelming emotional breakdown symptoms can then occur again as a result, contributing to an autistic meltdown becoming a vicious cycle.
In the moment, emotional breakdown symptoms leading to an adult autistic meltdown can feel completely out of the individual’s control. But the aftermath can be just as difficult to navigate, leaving the person feeling ashamed, drained, and uncertain about how to return to their normal functioning.
However, there are compassionate and effective strategies that can facilitate a healthy recovery from an autistic meltdown.
Understanding the Adult Autistic Meltdown Experience
To provide appropriate support, it’s important to understand the experience of an autistic meltdown from the individual’s perspective. Meltdowns are different from temper tantrums – they are a neurobiological response to feeling overwhelmed, not a behavioral choice.
The sensory and emotional overload that precedes emotional breakdown symptoms can be incredibly distressing. Imagine being bombarded by bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, uncomfortable physical sensations, and a whirlwind of scary feelings—all at the same time.
This is the reality for many autistic adults and children alike regularly. The brain struggles to process and respond effectively as the nervous system becomes flooded. The resulting meltdown is the brain and body’s way of desperately trying to cope and regain a sense of stability.
Once an autistic meltdown is triggered, the individual (of any age) may lose the ability to communicate, regulate their behavior, or engage with the outside world in a typical way. This can be deeply frightening and disorienting. That’s because the emotional breakdown symptoms often involve a complete loss of control that the person has no choice but to ride it out.
The aftermath is brutal, as the person is typically left feeling drained, disoriented, and remorseful. They may replay the event in their mind, berating themselves for “losing control” or worrying about the impact on others. This can leave them feeling even more overwhelmed and hesitant to risk another meltdown in the future.
Prioritizing Calm and Safety
Finding a quiet, low-stimulation area can be immensely helpful. This could mean retreating to a dimly lit room, going outside for some fresh air, or even just turning off the lights and television. Autistic individuals often find comfort in predictable, repetitive or stimming activities during this time, such as rocking, fidgeting with a stress ball, coloring, or listening to calming music.
It’s also crucial that the person feels safe, accepted, and free from judgment. Meltdowns bring up a lot of shame and fear, so it’s important that caregivers and loved ones respond with patience, empathy, and understanding.
Avoid lecturing, criticizing, or asking the person to “just calm down” – these reactions can escalate their distress.
Instead, offer gentle comfort and reassurance. A calm, soothing voice, a comforting touch (if the person welcomes it), or a warm blanket can go a long way in helping the individual feel safe and grounded. Remind them that the meltdown has passed and that you’re there to support them through the recovery process.
RELATED: Helpful Self-Regulation Tips for Keeping Calm & Carrying On
Reflecting and Identifying Triggers
Once the person has regained a sense of calm, it can be helpful to reflect on what led to the meltdown in the first place. This process of identifying potential triggers is an important step in developing prevention and coping strategies.
Meltdowns are often the result of a complex combination of factors. By thoughtfully examining the events and circumstances surrounding the meltdown, patterns may emerge that provide valuable insights.
For example, did the meltdown occur after a particularly busy or chaotic day? Was there a specific sensory input (such as bright fluorescent lights or a loud, crowded environment) that seemed to exacerbate the person’s distress? Did a particular social interaction or emotional experience leave them feeling overwhelmed?
Keeping a journal or other record of meltdown episodes can help the individual and their support system identify these triggers over time. Additionally, checking in about potential factors that may have contributed, such as hunger, fatigue, or heightened anxiety, can offer important clues.
It’s worth noting that triggers can be complex and multilayered. What seems like a straightforward sensory issue may actually be rooted in deeper emotional or social challenges. An autistic person may struggle to articulate or even fully understand the root causes of their meltdowns. Patience, compassion, and a collaborative approach are key.
Once the person has reflected on potential triggers, the next step is to develop a personalized “meltdown toolkit” – a collection of strategies and resources they can turn to for preventing or managing future episodes.
Prevention is key, so the toolkit should include techniques for proactively identifying and addressing sensory, emotional, and social needs before they become overwhelming.
I’ve written a related article about tips and techniques for helping to calm autism meltdowns so don’t want to repeat myself here, as this blog is intended to focus more on the aftermath and recovery. But I hope you’ll take a look by reading the following blog.
READ MORE: Mastering the Art of Calming Down Autism Meltdowns
Adults on Reddit describe their autistic meltdowns and how they cope, and it seems like the methods vary greatly by individual. Reader Paradoxofaparadox says, “I compulsively hide from everything and everyone. I avoid being seen and talked to at any cost. I become a little paranoid. People have knocked on my door when I’m in meltdown or shutdown mode, and like a prey, I have thrown myself on the ground as far from windows as possible, so as not to be spotted.”
Lamofgibson says “Isolation, being mute, dissociation, and blasting music to the point my ears ring afterward.” And another user replies, “Screaming, loud and hard. Usually involves lots of cursing too. I feel much better afterwards.”
The key is to do what makes you feel better without harming yourself or adding to the chaos you already feel inside.
Navigating the Aftermath: Rebuilding after the Storm
After an autistic meltdown has run its course and the person has had the opportunity to calm down and self-soothe, the recovery process is far from over. They will likely need ample time and space to fully recharge and regain a sense of equilibrium.
This “coming down” period is crucial, as the full aftermath of meltdowns can be tremendously draining – both physically and emotionally. The person may feel completely spent, overwhelmed, and disoriented. They may also experience a range of difficult emotions, from shame and embarrassment to anger and fear.
It’s important to validate these feelings and avoid minimizing the person’s experience. Meltdowns are not something the individual has control over, so shaming or criticizing them will only amplify their distress. Instead, offer compassionate reassurance that the meltdown has passed and that you’re there to support them.
Engaging in calming, restorative activities can be incredibly helpful during this recovery phase. Quiet time spent alone, gentle movement, and sensory soothing can all aid in the process of regaining a sense of balance. The person may also benefit from sharing their experience with trusted loved ones, allowing them to process the event and receive additional support.
In the days and weeks following a meltdown, it’s crucial to maintain a nurturing, low-stress environment. Avoid subjecting the person to additional demands or stressors that could trigger repeated emotional breakdown symptoms. Prioritize rest, self-care, and gradual re-engagement with daily routines and activities.
Building a Community of Support
Recovering from an autistic meltdown can be eased with support, when possible. While the individual must ultimately develop their own personalized coping strategies, having a strong support system in place can make all the difference.
Their compassion, understanding, and practical assistance (as long as they are considered an ally and supporter of the person) can provide a vital lifeline during the recovery process.
One of the most important ways loved ones can help is by educating themselves about the nature of autistic meltdowns. Many neurotypical people, even those who care deeply about an autistic individual, may not fully grasp the intense, uncontrollable nature of these episodes.
Taking the time to learn about the neurobiological basis and common triggers can foster greater empathy and patience.
Beyond the immediate circle, autistic individuals can also benefit tremendously from connecting with a wider community of peers who understand the meltdown experience firsthand. Joining autism support groups, either in-person or online, can provide a crucial sense of belonging and validation.
Sharing stories, insights, and coping strategies with others on the spectrum can help the person feel less alone in their struggles.
READ MORE: Sharing Life and Autism Social Story Lets Others See Authentic Self
Professionals such as therapists, counselors, and autism specialists can also be invaluable members of the support network. They can offer clinical expertise, practical skills training, and a safe space for the autistic individual to process their experiences. Therapeutic modalities like cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, and occupational therapy have all been shown to be effective in helping autistic people develop meltdown management strategies.
It’s important to note that the specific support needs of each autistic individual will vary greatly. Some may thrive with a small, tight-knit circle, while others may benefit more from a broader community.
The key is to cultivate a network of support that is responsive to the person’s unique preferences, communication styles, and comfort levels.
Embracing the Whole Self After An Adult Autistic Meltdown
One of the most important—yet often overlooked—aspects of recovering from an autistic meltdown is the need to embrace one’s full, authentic self.
Far too often, autistic individuals are made to feel that their meltdowns are a sign of weakness or inadequacy. They may internalize the belief that they need to hide or “fix” this part of themselves to be accepted.
However, learning to fully accept and integrate one’s autistic identity is crucial for long-term resilience and well-being. Meltdowns are not a personal failing, but rather a natural response to a neurological reality. They are an integral part of the autistic experience, not something to be ashamed of or suppressed.
By embracing the fullness of their autistic identity, individuals can begin to reframe meltdowns not as something to be feared and avoided, but as a valid expression of their authentic self. They can learn to approach these episodes with self-compassion, understanding that their brain and body are simply doing what they need to cope with overwhelming stimuli or emotions.
LEARN MORE: Self-Awareness Examples for Personal Growth When You Have Autism
This shift in perspective can have a profound impact on one’s ability to recover from meltdowns.
Rather than berating themselves or worrying about how others will perceive them in the aftermath, the individual can focus their energy on self-soothing, self-care, and gradually building resilience.
They can learn to view meltdowns not as personal shortcomings, but as opportunities for growth, healing, and deeper self-understanding.
Many autistic individuals have spent years, if not a lifetime, trying to mask or suppress this core part of themselves in order to “fit in” or avoid rejection.
Ultimately, the path to recovering from autistic meltdowns involves far more than just developing practical coping strategies. It requires a profound shift in how the individual views and relates to their own neurological differences.
By embracing the fullness of their authentic self, they can learn to navigate meltdowns with greater ease, resilience, and self-compassion.
This is not to say that the recovery process will be easy or linear. Meltdowns will likely continue to be a reality for many autistic individuals, at least to some degree. But with self-acceptance as the foundation, the person can approach each episode with the knowledge that they are whole, worthy, and capable of emerging from the storm.
RELATED: Break Free From These 7 Unhealthy Coping Mechanism
Finding Meaning and Purpose Beyond The Aftermath
For many autistic individuals, recovering from a meltdown is not just about regaining a sense of equilibrium – it’s also about rediscovering a sense of meaning, purpose, and empowerment in their lives.
Meltdowns can be profoundly disruptive, leaving the person feeling helpless, disconnected, and uncertain about their ability to function in the world. However, by reframing these episodes as opportunities for growth and self-discovery, the individual can begin to cultivate a renewed sense of agency and resilience.
One powerful way to do this is by exploring how the autistic experience, including the challenges of meltdowns, can inform the person’s unique strengths, talents, and life’s work.
Many autistic individuals possess remarkable abilities in areas like visual-spatial reasoning, pattern recognition, attention to detail, and logical thinking. These “autistic superpowers” can be harnessed and channeled in ways that are deeply meaningful and fulfilling.
For example, an autistic person who struggles with sensory processing may find great purpose in advocating for accessibility and inclusive design. Or an individual who has experienced the intense emotions of a meltdown may feel called to provide peer support or therapeutic services to others on the spectrum.
By aligning their lived experiences with a sense of purpose, the person can transform their struggles into sources of power and pride.
It’s important to note that this process of finding meaning is not about minimizing the very real challenges of autism, including the distress of meltdowns.
Rather, it’s about empowering the individual to see their neurological differences not just as obstacles to overcome, but as integral parts of their unique identity and life’s journey.
This shift in mindset can have a profound impact on the recovery process. When the person views their meltdowns not just as burdens, but as doorways to self-discovery and growth, they can approach the experience with a greater sense of resilience and agency.
They may be more inclined to lean into the lessons and insights that these episodes can provide, rather than trying to suppress or hide them.
Of course, finding meaning and purpose amid the challenges of autism is not always a straightforward or easy endeavor. It may require the support of trusted loved ones, mental health professionals, and the wider autistic community.
But by embarking on this journey of self-exploration and empowerment, the individual can emerge from the recovery process feeling more grounded, fulfilled, and aligned with their authentic self.
Embracing Self-Compassion of Emotional Breakdown Symptoms
Recovering from an autistic meltdown is a delicate process that requires an abundance of patience, empathy, and self-compassion. The individual needs to remember that meltdowns are not a personal failing, but a natural response to being pushed beyond their limits.
This doesn’t mean minimizing the challenges or pretending the meltdown didn’t happen. It means acknowledging the experience with honesty and tenderness, recognizing one’s own humanity, and offering self-forgiveness.
It means replacing harsh self-judgment with self-soothing and self-care.
RELATED: What is Bed Rotting? 7 Ways It Promotes Self-Care
With time, practice, and the support of loved ones, autistic individuals can learn to navigate the recovery process with greater ease. They can develop the skills and resources to bounce back from meltdowns, reclaim their sense of control, and move forward with resilience.
The road may not be easy, but it is possible. By surrounding themselves with compassion, embracing their unique needs, and continually refining their coping toolkit, autistic people can emerge from meltdowns stronger, wiser, and more empowered than before.
Common Autistic Behaviors
There are many behaviors associated with having autism. Keep in mind that everyone presents differently, which is why it is called a spectrum disorder. However, there are common autism behaviors. Learn more about them.
- Autism and Eye Rolling: Why It’s Odd, But Perfectly Okay
- Eye Contact Avoidance: 8 Best Ways to See Eye to Eye
- Staring Meaning: Unlocking the Secrets of Intense Gazes
- Autism Elopement: Why Wandering Off Is A Behavioral Nightmare
- Autism and Sleep Disorders: Top 4 Reason for Sleepless Nights
- Crowds Phobia and Autism: How to Tame Anxiety Overload
- How Repeating Words (Palilalia) Achieves Better Language Processing
- Autism and ADHD: Making Sense of the Overlap
- Autism Masking & Code Switching: How to Redefine Acceptance
- Autistic Stimming Behaviors: Why We Do and How It’s Important
- OCD and Autism: Could You Have One Condition or Both?
